When I wrote about the benefits of adding logical consequences to our toolkit with our daughter, I was met with some resistance from people. Most of the resistance centered on the fact that people view logical consequences as punishment and children don’t learn from punishment. I disagree and I thought I’d share a bit more on how to implement a logical consequence, along with what it does and does not include.
I’m a big fan of natural consequences. But sometimes natural just doesn’t do it – like when my daughter decides to throw her toys at me – sure, she sees me sad and I will not play with her, but that doesn’t quite seem to curb it, especially when she’s angry and threw it in order to hurt me.
For many of us, we grew up with physical punishment, yelling, shaming, even full-on abuse. We so desperately want to change that cycle, but how? It can be unbelievably difficult to do. One mom asked if I could do a post on ways to change and work towards being the gentle parent we want to be. So here we are.
The idea is that children will receive a reward which will reinforce the behaviour you desire. And not surprisingly it works. When there is a reward, children will work towards that goal, sometimes even harder than they might if there were no reward. So what’s the problem? Isn’t this great?