The following is a talk I presented at the 2016 Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement Conference this past October in Toronto, ON on feminism, patriarchy, and mothering.
To the man on the beach who smacked his child - this is what I wanted to say to you and all those who feel that is the only option they have.
Dear Women of Childbearing Age, We regret to inform you that we have decided that you are no longer competent beings with a brain capable of making decisions about your life and how you live it.
Having my baby boy has led to an exponential growth in love in our family, but it has also made me very angry. Not at him or anyone close to us, but at our society that continues to devalue family and children.
I am a lactivist. It's not because I think women should be forced to breastfeed. It's because I think women ought to have choice and support.
"Fed is Best"... Somewhere along the line, people have decided that simply showing up and doing the very bare minimum is enough to celebrate. I say, "Fuck that."
Knowing your baby can't be done by reading books or hearing what other people think of how to parent. Knowing your baby means spending time with your baby and believing s/he is an individual. All parents need to do this.
Parents are being arrested for running into the store for 5 minutes and deciding to leave their child in the car. Is this really the society we've become? Instead of looking out for the child, we call 911 and have the parent arrested?
A piece is making the rounds claiming that sleep training is a feminist issue. I think it is too, just not the way the original author believes.
We are Risk Averse. We don't even like to acknowledge that we may make choices that increase the risk to our kids. But we all do it. And we need to own it.
