Happy Father’s Day

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Babe,

Thank you.  I could honestly write “for everything” but I don’t know how well that would go over as this is just about father’s day.  So let me count the ways I love you as the father of our dear Maddy, as I love you in many other ways as well ;)

I love you for…

  • Doing things differently the second time around.  It takes a very strong person to not cling to how things were before and to change it up.
  • Agreeing to even look into homebirth and midwives, and then even more for jumping on board faster than I ever could have imagined and with greater gusto.
  • Putting your own thoughts, worries, and tiredness aside during 83 hours of labour.  I know you were scared and exhausted, but you never let me see that.  And I know that helped both Maddy and I get through the birth with minimal intervention.
  • Being there for our daughter when my crazy takes over.  And then forcing me to snap out of it asap and pointing out – nicely – how ridiculous I am so I can go back to being a kick-ass mom (and yes, I can say that because your kick-ass dadness allows it).
  • Embracing the family bed long-term even though it means you get stuck in the guest room some nights.
  • Bringing music into our daughter’s life in a way I never could.  We may all love music, but you can actually help her to create it, something she’s already taken to heart in her (almost) 3 years of life.
  • Always offering to clean the poop (thought I wonder if you do it because you know she insists it be me… but I’ll give you credit anyway).
  • Doing all that was necessary to ensure breastfeeding was not only possible for Maddy and me, but also easy.  I never felt guilt, I never felt wrong, I never felt like you were angry you didn’t get to “bond” via feeding.  You have done everything to make sure that Maddy is both able and comfortable breastfeeding today, a week shy of her 3rd birthday.
  • Supporting me to stay at home with our daughter.  Yes, it’s easier when I’m still a student, but many partners wouldn’t support the kind of slow progress I’ve made because I’m home.  You don’t even bat an eye.  And we both love you for it immensely.
  • Teaching our daughter how to properly say “This Guy” because it’s freaking hilarious.
  • Cooking, cleaning, etc. because, well, isn’t it self-explanatory?
  • Not making me feel bad for not doing all the cooking and cleaning.  I’m home, but you realize I’m also a student and using my “free” time to do work and you don’t hold it against me.  Or our daughter.
  • Constantly being willing to learn.  I know sometimes I throw something at you about parenting and it must seem like it’s out of the blue and makes no sense, but you are always willing to listen and decide for yourself and talk about it.  You don’t get defensive.  You are ready to do whatever it takes for our daughter’s well-being.  Sometimes you agree with me, sometimes not, but the decision is never out of a “yes, dear” mentality or the need to “stand your ground”.  I love that.
  • Helping me be the parent I want to be.  I wouldn’t be half the parent I am without your support.  I can only hope that I’m somehow helping you be the parent you want to be as well.
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Maddy and her dad at her 1st birthday party

I know there are amazing parents who do it all themselves or parents who really don’t have support despite having a partner and still kick-ass, and I am in awe of these people.  Perhaps because I know I could never do that.  Whether it be my own baggage, mental blocks, or something else, I would be a shitty single parent.  And so I hope you know that ever single day I love you beyond words because I don’t feel like a shitty parent and that can only happen with you at my side.  I hope that when you see Maddy and I you know that not only is your relationship strong with her because of you, but so is hers and mine.  When she insists upon me cleaning her poop (which I’m still wondering if you secretly plotted), that it’s not a slight on you but rather a reaffirmation of what you’ve been able to give her in terms of her relationship with me.  I never want you feeling that I built my relationship with her on my own because nothing could be further from the truth.

We love you and love everything you do for us every day.

Thank you.  So much.

You truly are

the. Best. Dad. Ever. (for our family)

xoxo

Tracy & Maddy

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Comments

  1. says

    I am not doing a Ph. D but I am also working at home on my “free” time.
    I relate completely with what you have just described… almost word by word (we have baby boy 21 months).
    You read my mind…I would be not a shadow of the kick ass mom I am without my hubby (BTW he is in fact Ph. d. already. So he works really hard to keep his research delivey level while growing awsome as a father)
    So I am using your post to “Ode to Julio Cesar” (the greatest dad ever… for my family)
    Tracy congrats for your great contribution through your site!

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