Impact vs. Intent in Parenting
When we accidentally harm our children, we often invoke the, "I didn't mean to!" in our defence instead of providing them with the acknowledgement of hurt and support they need.
When we accidentally harm our children, we often invoke the, "I didn't mean to!" in our defence instead of providing them with the acknowledgement of hurt and support they need.
The question of whether and how nighttime parenting affects attachment is still unclear. I review a study that helps elucidate at least part of this issue.
The premise behind extinction sleep training is that infants (and toddlers) are being taught to "self-soothe"; however, this ignores key points of what self-soothing abilities can be expected from children and how distressed they are at the time of separation. Instead of focusing on these extinction methods, gentler methods that respect where the child is developmentally should be considered.
Gentle parenting doesn't remove hard times or negative emotions. Being aware of that and making sure you're parenting gently for the right reasons is crucial.
Too often we expect our kids to be happy about what we need them to do instead of allowing them to experience their emotions as they need to.
For those families considering extinction sleep training methods, I want to ask them to try something first. Something that I hope will change their minds.
Instead of ignoring your child or giving into a tantrum, what can you do? These are some steps to help you teach your child to solve their problems without hitting emotional overload.
I feel like sleep trainers are like a mythical monster where every time you cut off one head with science and reason, two more take their place that are even more dangerous than before. In the last few months alone, the media has highlighted this method of locking your child in a room for 12 hours a day under the guise of “helping” your child and a method of sleep training newborns by not feeding them at night.