Knowing your baby can't be done by reading books or hearing what other people think of how to parent. Knowing your baby means spending time with your baby and believing s/he is an individual. All parents need to do this.
Often when I write about crying-it-out or controlled crying, I get comments from people who have done it asking what else they should have done in their sleep deprived state. The question concerns me because it highlights not only how mainstream the idea of leaving a child to cry has become, but also about how ignorant society is as a whole about the alternatives to sleep training.
I finally realized that we need to address the elephant in the room. And that elephant is that Attachment Parenting all too often is being treated as list of things that parents MUST do.