“Fed is Best”
I saw this on a thread talking about the formula versus breast milk issue. It had a lot of likes and support from people on both sides of this often decisive debate – breastfeeders and formula feeders. Why not? It sounds great, doesn’t it? I mean, why discuss things like the relative merits of what we feed our children so long as we’re feeding them? If we focus on the fact that our kids are actually getting food, we can all give ourselves a big pat on the back and go to sleep thinking what awesome people we are. We like that in our society, don’t we?
Credit: Flickr/Jes
I’m going to take a slightly different stance. I’m going to say this is one of the all-time stupidest comments I’ve ever heard. It’s so full of stupid I’m struggling with the fact that I’m feeling that I have to actually write something here because of the overwhelming support this message had.
Fed is not best. Fed is a large part of what keeps us from going to jail as abusive and neglectful parents. Fed is doing the bare minimum and nothing more.
If you believe that “fed is best”, I can only imagine you also believe that “not killing someone” is “the best”. Or that “not beating your child until they are black and blue” is “the best”. I struggle to believe anyone actually believes these things yet they are right on par with “fed is best”. At no point does simply not screwing up or not being neglectful to the point of seriously endangering your child constitute anything even close to “the best”. No child who receives only the bare minimum can say that they received “the best”.
This idea that “fed is best” also is a huge slight to parents everywhere. It presupposes that we are so incompetent that we need to celebrate simply showing up. The fact that we haven’t killed all our children en masse is something worth being proud of. Fuck that. I expect more from myself and every parent around me. I expect us to care about our children, to do what we can to help them not only survive, but thrive. I expect us to look at what children need (and not just our individual kids, but all kids) and do what we can to fight to make changes that make the world a better place for them. Not just a place in which we celebrate not killing or abusing or neglecting them, but actually loving and caring and supporting them.
Are people really so stupid as to really believe “fed is best”?
I actually don’t think (hope?) so. I think the vast majority of people who use this phrase aren’t ones who deep down believe this, despite giving lip service to it. I mean, if you used this same analogy for a child who was slightly older, I doubt a single one would still say the same. For example, faced with a toddler who is fed nothing but McDonald’s, I sincerely doubt a single one would say “That’s okay because fed is best!” No, they would decry the systemic issues that may lead to a family only feeding their child in this way and they would acknowledge that there are, indeed, differences in what we feed our children while maybe acknowledging that at least the parent is giving food and not starving the poor child (or they may judge the fuck out of those parents whilst ignoring the issues that have given rise to this situation; that seems pretty common these days too).
However, somehow in the formula vs. breast milk debate, many on the formula side have taken the odd stance of putting their product up as equal to breast milk when it suits them, but have also downgraded it to such a degree that this type of comment seems normal when defending formula feeding. It’s illogical and frustrating, to say the least, as you can’t have a product that is both amazing and so weak that we need to celebrate it as the minimum. When one says “fed is best”, they’re really saying the product is so piss-poor that one needs this lowest common denominator to be considered “best”. Is that what you believe? Would you really stand up and say that you have so little faith in what you feed your child that you can’t allow any type of comparison in terms of what our babies are fed?
The real problem here is that feeding your child formula is not akin to “fed is best”. Not by any stretch. (Even in developing nations “fed is best” holds very little water for infants as there are approximately 800,000 babies each year that are technically “fed” using formula that is prepared with bad water and not sterilized and ends up killing them.) In developed nations where we have more choices, there are still babies being given home-made “formulas” that don’t provide nearly enough nutrition for a baby to thrive or sometimes live. There are babies being given formula cut with water to make it last longer which can lead and has led to infants’ deaths. There are babies being given things like rice cereal well before they should be because it’s cheaper and will “fill them up” longer. These are the babies who are “fed” but by a standard that no one can consider “best”.
The fact remains that if you have the privilege each month to not only buy enough formula to last you said month, but last when used properly, and the means to ensure each and every bottle is prepared safely, you are going above and beyond just “feeding your baby”. Or if you have the skills and resources to produce home-made formula that is healthy and meets the nutritional requirements your child needs, you are going above and beyond just “feeding your baby”. We still have economic hardships and systemic problems that prohibit all babies from being fed adequately. So when you try to spout out “fed is best” it reeks of privilege and ignorance about the plight of so many families that it just comes across as fucking stupid. It ignores the battles that still need to be waged to ensure families either have access to breastfeeding support if they want it or to enough formula to properly prepare it for as long as their child needs it.
So I say to you: Grow up.
Is formula equal to breast milk from a health perspective? No. Sorry, but it’s not. Is it akin to simply “just” feeding your child? No, it is more than that because it’s an acceptable substitute when you have the privilege to prepare and use it properly, even if it’s not “the best”. You can do a lot worse and many families are forced to do a lot worse so don’t try to minimize their situation because someone said something you didn’t like.
Fed is not best. It is the absolute minimum we should expect to do as parents. And when we see families who struggle to do more than just feed their child what they can, we should be horrified and fight for change. Not sit back and diminish their fight in order to pat ourselves on the back for being able to do more.
I’ve been sitting on the sidelines for a while, but as an evolutionary biologist I think you need to take “evolutionary” out of your title. There is very little science behind the privilege and shaming you support. This is why social scientists should stay away from the hard sciences. My wife nursed our son, and there were a lot of positive things about it for us. But you ignore all the complexities of this issue.
Might I enquire what complexities you feel are ignored? I assume you’re speaking of the site as a whole too and not one opinion piece but I’d really love to hear what’s missing. Also I’d love to hear your take on the science as I’ve done statistical work for medical research and worked on policy so feel pretty confident in my analysis skills. I also would like to know what makes you think I promote shaming.
(P.s. I realize this may sound shirt but typing one handed with my newborn so just trying to be succinct)
The complex issues include a baby starving from insufficient breastfeeding and developing dehydration, hypoglycemia and excessive jaundice when a mother who does not have enough milk is told there is always enough milk. Newborn babies are found lethargic and even unresponsive from dehydration and hypoglycemia and brain injured from starving due to the exclusive breastfeeding protocol. That is the reason why families give formula. Because they don’t want their babies to starve or die. Because not all breasts produce milk or enough milk. Because the breastfeeding advocates have chosen to lie to mothers about how common insufficient breast milk is and how starvation-related complications from the exclusive breastfeeding protocol is the leading cause of newborn hospitalizations in the world. Those are the complex issues that you are clearly unaware of.
Could I see your data supporting this notion that the “leading cause of newborn hospitalizations in the world” is starvation-related complications from exclusive breastfeeding? I read a lot of medical research and have yet to come across this. [Edit: And please don’t give me data on _all_ jaundice and claim this supports your argument because you would know as well as I do that jaundice has many causes and even the “breastfeeding failure jaundice” is often treated with more breastfeeding to help stimulate milk production. This is the standard protocol with supplementation if needed and if families desire.]
Of course, as pointed out in the opinion piece here, formula feeding is far more than “just feeding” your baby. This is my problem with linking it’s appropriate use to “fed is best”. Again, fed is the bare minimum and not always best depending on where in the world you are. There are lots of things to worry about with feeding, but “fed is best” suggests that formula is simply “just feeding” instead of pointing out it provides multiple nutrients that are needed for infant development and is an adequate substitute when it can be done safely. Which isn’t always and why we need better support for breastfeeding as well.
Your passion for a nutritious diet is commendable, but the anger shows through quite readily. Might want to tone it down to avoid scaring people! Otherwise interesting read.
Lol yes, some things fire me up ;). Why I label it opinion!! 🙂
I commend Tracy for her clarity on the issue. Too many people try to appease their readers and sit on the fence to make everyone feel good about whatever they are doing. Yes, there is a range of experience and situations around some women’s ability to breastfeed. However, too many women (and men) these days tend to not take responsibility for their role to provide what is best for their babies while they are pregnant and after their baby is born. There is a culture of women believing they have the right eat, drink and do what ever I want regardless of how it affects a baby in utero or after it is born. I recently went to an MD for a pap smear with my toddler in tow. During the exam, she took it upon herself to educate me that nursing my son at 2.5 years old was a waste of time and said, don’t you know there is no nutritional benefit. Was I shocked that she was uneducated about breastfeeding and the emotional, nutritional and immune benefits of breast milk? No, I have come to know that the medical community, media and general education is generally poorly educated about breastfeeding and breast milk. Tracy, way to raise the bar. I hope families take heed. Thank you for your honesty, however blunt. Truth is sometimes sobering for those who have been sleeping. Someone else can write a puffier article.
I think the comment that, “fed is best” or “the number one rule is to feed the baby” comes from wanting to reassure parents when breastfeeding has failed. You are right, we do need to make sure breastfeeding doesn’t fail, and it is a systematic issue. But what do you say to a mommy that is broken over having no milk and a hungry baby? Sometimes, the situation is very complicated and feeding that baby is desperate.
I had my opinions about breastfeeding before I had children. How could anyone use formula? But then I struggled to breastfeed due to tongue tie and because the medical establishment is so backwards, finding anyone to even hear my concerns and offer real help and treatment was impossible. After that experience I will never judge another family again. Privilege is right, and resources for breastfeeding support and even treatment is a privilege and not a right. Luckily, things are changing and largely due to social media groups information is being shared and the tide is turning. I hope that one day we will have a better environment for families of new babies, but until then I’m not going to make sad new mommies feel bad about doing what they can with what they have.
Here’s my take: As I said in the piece, if you’re able to use formula safely and appropriately, you’re doing far more than just “feed your baby”. Don’t dumb down what you’re doing. Further, take time to grieve what’s lost. When we spout off to these moms, “fed is best”,you’re actually ignoring their loss and sadness. Allow them to have it, support them through their grief instead of telling them they shouldn’t have it, which is what this sentence does. The sentence then further promotes the idea that we shouldn’t talk about the very real differences between feeding methods and that dumbs down the discourse in our society and prevents these women from getting the real support they needed to breastfeed.
As such, I don’t find this saying empowering or helpful (in the long term) to anyone. It ignores that there are babies not being adequately fed, it ignores women’s real grief at the loss of a breastfeeding relationship, and it shuts down discourse which is essential if we’re going to get those systematic changes made to help support breastfeeding moms.
The “Fed is Best” campaign is a direct response to the “Breast is Best” campaign. Unfortunately, mothers are being led to believe that feeding by formula when having trouble nursing is inferior, dangerous to the child’s health/development/bonding, and so forth. What this campaign seems to be doing is put emphasis on making sure a child is receiving adequate nutrition and not starving simply because the mother is ashamed and/or afraid to use formula. It’s not suggesting that feeding a baby the minimal amount needed to survive is a good idea or that fast food all the time is enough. It’s suggesting that mothers who have had to turn to formula shouldn’t have shame or guilt placed upon them because of their choice in feeding. In fact, “Fed is Best” is empowering, it is helpful, and it is directly addressing the fact that many babies are being underfed because of exclusive breastfeeding. It is also pushing for real education on the breast milk vs. formula debate.
Seriously folks. Reading comprehension in the USA is seriously lacking. The author of this opinion piece is NOT stating the mothers who formula feed are awful mothers. Breastmilk is better than formula, it’s a fact. However, if you can’t breastfeed, you should formula feed properly. Poor people who can’t breastfeed and who can’t afford proper formula preparation should be provided the means to properly and safely feed their child. It’s simple.
In what other freaking circumstance do we accept the notion that a minority is the big bully? The majority of women in the USA do not breastfeed, yet they seriously think it’s the minority breastfeeders who are out to kill babies, burn all the formula, and shame those formula feeding mommies (and daddies)! Get a grip.
Women who feel sad that they couldn’t breastfeed, well, you couldn’t provide the best thing, but you know what? No one cares. No one is going to look back at your life and say “Tisk, tisk, she failed at nursing.” Most American women end up bottle feeding, so who the hell is judging you? There is no secret breastfeeders club where us judgmental bf’ers plan world domination and bad talk all those formula feeders.
Let’s apply the “Don’t say breast is best” attitude to another area of life: living a life that’s active verses living an inactive life. “An active life is best!” Yes, right on! … Oh, wait! My husband can’t exercise or be active, he is disabled, how dare you shame him! Exercising and being active must not best because he can’t do it. You shamed him, oh the guilt he feels! We now must conclude that because there are people who can’t be active and thus being active is not the best, so we can’t tell anyone else about the benefits of properly exercising.
I’d also like to meet all these totally nonjudgmental formula feeding moms who never ever judge anyone ever! Must be amazing to be apart of a large majority who never judges anyone in any aspect of life ever. Do you think anyone would comment on my hairy female body if I wore a tank top and shorts to the formula feeders of America meeting? Please, the FIB organization is a bunch of quackery bolstered by a bunch of women who are insecure in the choices they did make or had to make.
By no freaking means is anyone ever suggestions “Let your baby die before you give them formula!”
Oh, and let’s stop pretending there aren’t women who just don’t want to breastfeed. Yes, there are women who don’t like breastfeeding, and think it’s yucky. There are women who never planned and never will want to breastfeed. It’s a fact of life that people don’t always chose what is best. Gasp! Women aren’t infalible creatures? Who knew!
WELL SAID!! I had the same problem with my daughter, plus poor weight gain, not enough milk, etc. The judgement we get from formula feeding is awful! And this article is just mean!
I have never been moved to comment on a blog post until this one. I agree wholeheartedly and reading this piece brought up a rage I haven’t felt since after my first son was born and I was told over and over, “a healthy baby is all that matters”. Western society is not getting any healthier by continuing to allow platitudes to negate and sugarcoat often painful reality and struggle. Words do matter.
Please take a step back, chill and calm down. Breastfeeding is best, nature intended it to be the perfect food for our babies. However, humans aren’t robots that can sometimes follow up on everything that nature has intended to be best for us. So many many issues…polution, farming, forest cutting for papper, killing animals for makeup, using plastic as containers… God the list would go on and on and on…point is, be cautios when judging so quick cause you might have to take a good look at yourself and detect all the ” other” stuff that is not “best” for your child. No one is stupid, no one makes stupid decisions, we just are how we are and mums try and do the “best” for their children with each of their own individual reasons and situations. Provide information and support to encourage using the best product, our own milk, but please don’t create more rage and lack of understandment. Take care and spread love! X
Trust me, I do understand the sadness and shame you feel when you cannot breastfeed your own child and you planned to and wanted to. You really want that feeling to go away and you try to convince yourself that it is not that important what you feed your child.
It is important and not easy, as you say Tracy, to work through it but I think there is a better way. I found it on a blog somewhere so I cannot take the credit for it. This sadness can and should be channelled into anger. Not at yourself. At the system that made it impossible or so very hard to breastfeed. And what is happening, what you described, is making the world a place where it is even harder to breastfeed, right from the start. If you don’t think it matters how you feed your child you, would you even think it is worth to give breastfeeding a try? Worth a fight when the world makes it so difficult? It is an emotional issue. But I think we, women, feel the wrong emotions. We should feel anger and rage at the system and then you would not be accused of shaming when stating the facts, because there would be no shame.
It isn’t always ‘the system’ that makes some women unable to breastfeed. The human body does not always work perfectly.
Many women struggle with low supply due to insufficient glandular tissue (and many times it is just not known why women can’t produce enough) and many babies do not latch easily due to breast issues or mouth issues in the infants. At best, estimates of women who are unable to breastfeed exclusively is about 5% (personally, I think it is more like 10-15%).
If it always worked well and easily, more women would stick with it.
And yes, breastfeeding is important, but truly, most children can thrive on infant formula. About 70% of the children of the 1960’s 1970’s were raised on it. This was not a lost generation.
You may think that the ONLY reason women don’t breastfeed is due to a lack of milk making tissue, but that does not make it true. Early formula supplementation can interfere with a baby’s ability to latch, along with tongue and lip ties – which are often un-diagnosed. Putting baby in the nursery for baby’s first 2-5 days and scheduling feeds every 4 hours is another issue. Furthermore, if women were to be properly diagnosed treated *during pregnancy* (metformin is one galactologue that is safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding), there is a good chance that the number of women without functional breasts would be even lower – and also, there are transmen who have had complete or partial breast removals who are able to breastfeed, with supplementation, so that further shows that breast tissue alone is not the only factor. Are you a “Dr Amy” follower, by chance? Because you are spouting the same bullshit all her other followers repeat ad nauseum.
Things like this send women like me (pro-science combo feeders) running to Dr. Amy Teuter. So glad I found Skeptical OB where this kind of thing is refuted with real science. Sorry sister, but fed is best!
If you’re a “Dr Amy” follower, well, that says a lot about your belief system. Bye, Felicia!
I sit here late at night wondering why my baby wont settle. Is he hungry? Maybe he’s not getting enough milk? Maybe my diet isn’t good enough? Many questions go through my mind and no one (including breastfeeding associations) can give me a straight forward answer. I look back at my two other formula fed children and think how much happier me and bub where. The only reason we decided to go with breastfeeding this time is because of the guilt we felt having heard the silly phrase ‘breast is best’. Having seen a meme tonight that stated ‘fed is best’ I was reassured that if I choose to use formula again its ok. You’re opinion and anger on the whole issue infuriated me. Reading your opinion has only made me feel ashamed for wanting to use formula and thinking that ‘fed is best’ was a good response to ‘breast is best’.
1. Blame the formula manufacturers for “breast is best” – it was their catch phrase anyway.
2. I didn’t realize I held such power that my *opinion* would lead a stranger to feel ashamed of wanting to use formula. Especially when this is a central tenet of this piece: “The fact remains that if you have the privilege each month to not only buy enough formula to last you said month, but last when used properly, and the means to ensure each and every bottle is prepared safely, you are going above and beyond just “feeding your baby”. Or if you have the skills and resources to produce home-made formula that is healthy and meets the nutritional requirements your child needs, you are going above and beyond just “feeding your baby”.”
3. I recommend you work on why you’re making the choices you are and getting comfortable in your own skin. You need that.
It seems you don’t understand the concept, or you are too blinkered to understand the plight of other mothers? “Fed is Best” reassures mothers who can’t produce enough milk that formula is better than malnutrition. http://insufficientbreastfeedingdangers.blogspot.sg/?m=1
Unfortunately milk supply cannot be guaranteed. I have a hormonal imbalance and despite pumping day and night, lactation consultations, breast massage, bed sharing, feeding round the clock, baby wearing, mother’s milk tea, 3 litres of water a day, 6 X lacta Greek tablets a day, 6 X motilium/peptomet tablets a day and oodles of love and affection I simply cannot produce enough milk. My baby is almost 5 months and, having lost dangerous amounts of weight in hospital and subsequently, formula/purée is the only option. I am STILL breastfeeding (on demand and through the night) but it is vital to the survival of my son that I supplement.
Of course “breast is best” but for those who can’t, formula is a very close second! Such is the overbearing dominance of the “breast is best” campaign that, against medical guidance, I refused formula and persisted to provide my son with only the meagre dribbles of breast milk I could produce. Thankfully my good sense and maternal instinct prevailed over the “breast is best” dogma that is drilled into us.
As someone who has been there (unlike you), I find the phrase “Fed is Best” empowering and eminently sensible. Unless you have an army of wet nurses, I don’t know how you can describe formula as the “bare minimum.” What more can a Mum like me do? Really, what else should I be doing to avoid formula?
It is astonishing that you imply that my “bare minimum” is bordering on “neglect” or that formula is equivalent to “junk food.” Or that I should be ashamed to be “privileged” enough to use formula when other mothers are facing “economic hardships.” Formula shaming like this
causes women (particularly well educated and conscientious mothers) to persist with futile breast feeding at all costs and it endangers lives.
Clearly you have not experienced this situation personally and have always had an ample supply of milk. Count yourself lucky.
So I say to you: Get off your high horse and show some support and empathy!
I’m sorry you missed the whole point (stated bluntly) that formula feeding is NOT the bare minimum and why should we have women thinking it is? If you’re saying “fed is best”, you are, in essence subscribing to the idea that formula is so inferior that we need to argue for fed is best. I’m sorry you seem to feel that way because I certainly don’t.
I think “Dr Amy” sent her minions to attack your page. She likes to do that.
The thrust of your argument seems pretty clear (anti-formula) and, from the comments above, has met with serious criticism. “Fed is best” means that breast or formula are both fine – so long as baby’s belly is full. That’s the priority! If your intention was not to formula-bash or shame women then I suggest you re-work your article to explain yourself better.
Anyway, I don’t mean to enter any further debate. My response was not written for you but for desperate women who are misfortunate enough to chance upon your selfish and angry rant of an article – to reassure them that a full baby’s tummy (formula or otherwise) is best for everyone. To those ladies: sustain your babies by whatever means you are able, feed their soul with infinite love.
When a woman makes a post that she feels strongly about, she is always accused of being “angry” – I wonder if Tracy were a man how you would describe her words?
Please…what else can you describe it as when she herself writes the words “stupid” in her article. It is an angry article whether written by man or woman. A rather stupid article too, using her words.
Thanks for this. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen parents coerced into formula use – supplementation or replacement of breastfeeding – by well-meaning but ill-informed or perhaps uninformed health professionals. “Fed is Best” implies that if a mother is having supply issues or any trouble with breastfeeding, the first thing to do is to add formula, rather than trying to help troubleshoot the breastfeeding issue. This is sadly based on some outdated information and also a general patriarchal model. Thanks for being the voice of reason. We need more advocates who actually know what they’re talking about.
“”Fed is Best’ implies that if a mother is having supply issues or any trouble with breastfeeding, the first thing to do is to add formula, rather than trying to help troubleshoot the breastfeeding issue.”
No, you couldn’t be more wrong. It is meant to encourage and empower mothers like me who tried everyfuckingthing to breastfeed my babies and STILL never produced enough milk. It reminds us that supplementing with formula is OKAY and does not make you a failure. It means you are trying to do what is best for your baby and you. It means that giving your baby formula so that they are not losing weight constantly and starving is OKAY. Fortunately I have enough brain power to know the patriarchy has NOTHING to do with the fact that I never produced enough milk despite all of the troubleshooting I did.
“Fed is best” is a direct response to “breast is best” that is a message to women who have IGT or other low supply issues or medical issues that make it impossible to offer only the breast and call it “best”. Giving my baby the breast was what I was hellbent on doing while others were able to see it wasn’t the best, because I had insufficient glandular tissue and my baby was not thriving at the breast. The breast was starving her. Fed was best, and I needed to hear that particular response to overcome the shame of not living up to our passionate mommy subculture of perfectionism. For me, frim my lens, of my experience, “breast is best” sound a lot like “non-cancerous is best”. Like “yeah thanks…we know”…
How you internalise and interpret messages like ‘breast is best’ and ‘fed is best’ is always going to be influenced by your own experiences and I really think that it is preferable to avoid expressing strong opinions either way. As with most things in life, there are endless grey areas and it is probably best to keep your nose out of other people’s parenting decisions unless they are being overtly abusive. I am heading towards 7 months of ebf but I am in no way deluded enough to think it makes me a better mother or that I’ll do a better job over the next few decades because of it. I am a member of a local La Leche fb group having attended a meeting when I was struggling with the bf (took nearly 4 months to get it right and I hated every day of that period as I felt so trapped and uncomfortable) and some of the lengths people will go to to avoid formula strike me as ridiculous and downright dangerous. I’ve seen women posting about how horrified they are by their doctor’s attempts to encourage supplementing when their baby is horribly icteric and losing huge amounts of weight. This is not balanced thinking and is a little cultish. Yes, supplementing can reduce supply but I think we can all agree that endangering your baby is not acceptable. Every situation is individual and militant pro bf messages are as damaging and discouraging as a lack of support and cultural barriers. We just need to gently encourage people to try it, to remind them that it is part of the journey but not the only route, offer effective and experienced bf advice and be kind to each other. I am a veterinarian with a huge appreciation of the human body and of our ability to grow and sustain a child using it but I’m also a pragmatist and think shouty, strident bf promotion is crude, doomed to failure as well as being pretty cruel.
Maybe we should stop being smug and opinionated about other people’s parenting decisions and try a different approach? I have ebf my son for 7 months and it has been a mixture of brilliant and hellish. Now that feeding is going well it is special to me and an experience that I will remember fondly but it as also taken me to some dark places. I definitely think that my bond with my son was adversely affected by the 4 months it took to get things working smoothly and if I had another child it would have been very difficult. So, from my perspective there are two reasons not to be shouty and unpleasant when promoting bf. Number one- it won’t produce the results you are hoping for, it drives people away and provokes negative feelings and an instinctive backlash. Number two – you haven’t walked in the shoes of every mother and don’t know their stories and all the factors involved. Actually, there is a third…it’s really none of your business. Being a mammal is amazing but I am not delusional enough to think that bf will make me a better mother over the coming decades. There are thousands of things that go into making you a good parent. Gentle encouragement, effective and sensitive bf support and kindness comprise the pragmatic approach. I am a member of a la leche fb group and I am frequently frightened by the extreme avoidance of supplementation and the anti medical feeling that is evident on the discussion boards and have read posts from women horrified that their doctor has suggested formula for their terribly jaundiced, underweight baby. That is cultish adherence to the pro bf agenda and not best for their babies.
Sorry, thought the first comment hadn’t posted!
“Fed is best” is to fight against people like YOU. Shaming moms who can’t, or have perfect valid reasons for not breastfeeding. (Oh, in case you’re curious? YOU don’t get to decide what are “valid” reasons. Someone’s reasons are none of your damn business.) Moms who might have tried harder than you can POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
Guess what? Most of the valid studies regarding this can barely extract a benefit of breastfeeding over formula, besides some minor effects like diarrhea. All of the “higher IQ” and “obesity” arguments fail to be statistically significant. But here you are, comparing formula to feeding your kid FAST FOOD. No wonder moms who can’t or don’t breastfeed need to protect themselves against moms like you. And doing it in the name of “science”? I’m sorry, did I miss all the studies you referenced? I didn’t spot any footnotes. If you’re going to plaster PhD on your site, I expect to see some facts.
I believe in breastfeeding. I don’t believe in STARVING A BABY to achieve it. That’s what “fed is best” is all about. Putting aside what you might have wanted, and realizing that the most important thing is to have a healthy, thriving baby, and feeding them however you need to. Because guess what? “Nature” doesn’t always cooperate with our plans. Formula keeps babies from starving.
But by all means, go on with your mom shaming. I hope you’re imparting that wonderful skill on your kids. I plan on teaching mine to be decent people with some empathy for others. But hey, to each their own.
First of all, without any science I can tell you that breast milk is better for babies then formula which is man made and therefore can’t be digested the same way as breastmilk.. secondly did you read the article?? The issue being addressed here is how the phrase fed is best fails to recognize the importance and difficulty of formula feeding when necessary. How fed is best devalues formula feeding to the point of making it the bare minimum acceptable standard when it is much more then that
Ranty judgemental women like you the reason ‘fed is best’ is needed. I chose to breastfeed because ‘breast is best’ was all I was told during pregnancy. I had a stroke 4 years ago and stopped all medication to breastfeed my son. I suffered another at 10 weeks pp. 4 years of meds and no problems, 10 weeks of bf without taking medication and I could easily have died. I wouldn’t be feeding my son either way if that had happened- oh wait no he’d be on formula to keep him alive! I’m glad you had no problems breastfeeding, well done you. But don’t look down on or things you know nothing about. Oh and just to add, my formula fed son has thrived since I gave up breastfeeding. Despite all the horror stories that he would be horribly ill, constipated, end up with 3 heads etc etc.
My sentiments, exactly. I was planning to write something like this because I’m am so sick of this “Fed is best” mantra. Formula milk should be the last resort, and not the alternative.
You sound mean and judgemental. I would rather be bottle fed by a warm kind open minded and supportive mother the breastfed by one that is as judgemental as you. You’ve completely missed the point of the slogan.
It’s quite interesting how differently people read your article. It clearly makes the point that formula feeding the right way is more than doing the bare minimum yet people feel you think using formula is always wrong…
I don’t know why people can’t differentiate between criticising big business pushing formula where it’s not needed and criticising mothers for having issues breastfeeding. No one advocates the abolition of formula or denies that breastfeeding is hard and sometimes doesn’t work (but in our society right now some, not all, of the cases where it doesn’t work are avoidable). Countries like Norway have shown that you can increase the rate of successful breastfeeding with all the health benefits for babies and mothers, which is worth campaigning for!
I cant even with all the people who are butt hurt over this article simply because their reading comprehension is too low! If you are pissed because you think the author of this post is putting you down because you used formula…please reread it before you reply lol
Yes!! Seriously.
I am based in the UK, I run an independent family centre, we offer breastfeeding support, I am involved in local networks that bring together assorted services, the local health trusts, public health sector and freelancers offering breastfeeding support and my “spidy senses” are tingling in the moment as I feel there appears to be a very well coordinated broad attack on breastfeeding support not only in the UK, but across the globe. A couple articles that popped up recently in ‘reputable’ magazines, newspapers and news outlets discussing topics such as ‘baby likely to starve due to exclusive breastfeeding’, ‘fed is best’, and so forth, and there are pushes by the government to withdraw funding from breastfeeding specific services, wanting to turn them into ‘feeding support’ projects.
To me it is like saying “All lives matter” at a “black lives matter” event, it pulls the focus, diffuses the issues and arguments all round, waters it all down. (pun intended…)
Formula should be on prescription. End of. There is a cost to decisions we make that take us away from what would be biological norm, there is no question about this. There are longterm cost implications to the NHS and if government truly had the best interest of its citizens at heart they’d put families much more into the heart of their policy making. Instead they’re continuing to separate mother and baby (start paid childcare at 2 years of age… >.<) and support is often sporadic, unreliable, incoherent and lacking. 🙁
Sigh, how frustrating as an author to have people go nuts because they have not understood your argument. As you respond – yet again – try to remember that being able to critically analyse an article and draw out the authors intent are learned skills that most people don’t have the opportunity to develop.
So many people probably only read your first paragraph and then decided to attack you without even reading (and certainly not absorbing) the rest of the article.
They just see you calling out the catch phrase “fed is best” as BS and automatically interpret your argument as “formula = bad and you should feel bad” instead of your actual argument “misused formula (not enough, unsterilised bottles/water) = bad and is a result of systemic disadvantage, corporate manipulation and lack of support to families”.
People deal with so much shame and guilt when they cannot breastfeed but they fail to see how society is stacked against them from the start. No one is taught at their prenatal classes about how important it is for babies to have extended skin to skin immediately after birth (before being whisked away for cleaning and weighing etc) so that they can crawl to the breast and stimulate the milk to come in early. Or how to safely bed share in order to support a healthy breastfeeding relationship through the night. Or how to increase their supply through diet and supplements. And so few healthcare professionals are taught how to identify tongue and lip ties or how to teach mums’ HOW to breastfeed. This most basic mothering skill has been lost from our collective knowledge base because we now don’t get to see our mothers, aunts, cousins or friends breastfeeding their babies. We just see (and thus learn) bottle feeding because that is what is supported and modelled in our culture.
Until these issues are resolved and also until all the misogynistic asshats who shame and bully women for feeding in public shut their pie holes we are never going to be able to give families the best opportunity to successfully breastfeed.
As you said in your article, mothers who correctly utilise formula are going above and beyond to care for their infants but wouldn’t it be nice if they had (before even falling pregnant!) been given more support to BF so that they did not have to have the added stress and cost of preparing formula?
Beware as you sit there one-handedly nursing your newborn & typing with the other hand that the vitriolic, narrow minded comments your “article” is spewing forth, doesn’t affect your milk supply & you have to rely on supplementing with “privilege”.
Not to mention your anger affecting your baby’s mental health. Separate the two.
Perhaps you should encourage, suggest, recommend support services to families struggling to BF, instead of belittling their choice/need to use BMS.
Lastly, I recommend you see the adverse effects of exclusively BF infants with FTT. I’m not saying that FTT is only a result of BF, but it can result from.
I love this !!! I’m not sure why formula has to be obtained at a high standard . Breastfeeding is hard and the moms with the “fed is best” campaign obviously know that so why not give more power to the moms who actually were able to stick through !? If you have had problems with breastfeeding and you couldn’t push through for your own struggles then cool move along , formula is just formula and if that’s what that family has to do then do it why do we have to sit here and rally that “fedis best” ? BREAST IS BEST , I FOUGHT FOR THIS FOR A YEAR (and continuing) & ITS HARD WORK ! So if you’re formula feeding… great for you ! Sorry you had your struggles and couldn’t continue but at least you know that you tried to give your baby what’s best even if it was for a day or week or month. Leave it at that !!!!!!
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The “Breast is Best” campaign has a direct and proven link to the hospitalizations and starvation deaths of many babies, because no matter how badly we might wish that all women can make enough milk, it’s simply not true. If you don’t believe this, why don’t you actually visit the “Fed is Best” website and read some of the stories for yourself? If you then go on to say, “Those stories are all made up to promote the Fed is Best agenda,” well, you can count yourself in with Sandy Hook deniers and other folks who like to pretend that bad stuff doesn’t happen if it directly contradicts their personal world view.
In the Western world, the use of formula for feeding term babies has a direct and proven link to ZERO hospitalizations and deaths. ZERO.
The ONLY thing Fed is Best is trying to accomplish is the prevention of starvation hospitalizations and deaths because women are erroneously led to believe that all they have to do is nurse, and the milk will come. Babies can and do starve because mothers can’t make enough milk. Fed is Best wants to prevent this by letting new moms know that hungry babies need to be fed, and if they’re not producing enough milk then formula is a healthy alternative. No one at Fed is Best claims that formula is superior to breast milk. For women who can produce enough milk, breast is best. But starvation is not an acceptable alternative to formula. When breastfeeding doesn’t work, formula is best.
To me this seems completely rational, and it’s clearly being done in the interests of infant health and well being. What troubles me the most about your post is not that you seem to believe that there couldn’t possibly ever be a medical reason for insufficient milk production, but that the mere suggestion that there might be seems to fill you with such rage. If your breastfeeding relationship is working, then how does Fed is Best affect you, personally? The answer is that it doesn’t, it doesn’t affect you in any way at all, except one: it is impossible to feel superior to someone who has a genuine medical need to use formula. And when your identity is wrapped up in how superior you feel to others, it’s understandably distressing to have those feelings questioned. But ranting and raving all over your blog about how stupid everyone is for suggesting that formula moms might not actually be inferior to you is really not the way to handle your issues. It’s not helping you, it’s not helping them, and it’s certainly not helping hungry babies.
Hi Sarah,
I’m so sorry you feel so defensive about this. The idea that a campaign to help breastfeeding is linked to more deaths than the push for formula in our society is, frankly, misguided. I understand how strongly some people feel when they have tried to breastfeed and had it not work out, but this is what many lactivists – such as myself – push to change. Help with support, better education for caregivers so they can identify and *properly* treat problems as they arise, and so on. I have read the Fed is Best campaign and am aware of what they are pushing and it’s far from just saying starvation is bad which is why many people take issue with it; however, I shall leave that discussion for a podcast episode which I am in the midst of planning.
Nowhere has anyone suggested that “formula moms” are inferior. It shows the bias with which you read this piece to even suggest such a thing. I shall say no more about that because it is either an intentional misrepresentation of what is said or your emotions are too high and you’re reading something that isn’t there.
I wish you the best of luck with whatever you are hoping to achieve and if you are feeding a baby, may you enjoy your journey!
Cheers,
Tracy
Tracy,
You should read the book, “Lactivism: How Feminists and Fundamentalists, Hippies and Yuppies, and Physicians and Politicians Made Breastfeeding Big Business and Bad Policy.” Through some wonderful research, the author makes clear that scientific data just support the “breast is best” slogan. It was an eye-opener to me and I think it will be to you as well.
I have gone through some of it. The author’s ability to dissect science is sadly very limited (something that happens with some PhDs as the requirements for statistics is limited) and her arguments as such are incredibly weak. Some of the research she herself cites actually support the other side of the coin. But thank you for bringing it up as more recommendations on what to read is always a good thing 🙂
Fed is adequate. Breast is best.
Maybe we should reword the phrase to “Breast is best, but if it’s not then fed is best”
Just 19 days after giving birth to a healthy baby boy, Jillian Johnson lost her son Landon due to accidental starvation. “If I had given him just one bottle, he would still be alive. If only I could go back in time.” Fed is Best advocates for safe breastfeeding — including supplementing with formula when medically necessary or strictly formula feeding for those who want or need to — in response to the tragic stories of mothers accidentally starving their babies. Johnson never imagined that pressure to exclusively breastfeed — every new mom has heard the mantra ‘breast is best’ — could have such fatal consequences. “I just want people to educate themselves so they don’t make the same mistake I did,” Johnson said. “I couldn’t sit by any more and have another mom feel what I feel every day. I don’t want any parent to have this hole in their heart. Nothing can fill it.”
Lactivists want the same thing. But Fed is Best actually promotes supplementation of all babies which is a problem. However, when there’s such limited information and education about lactation, it’s no wonder even the health care providers are not equipped to deal with the very rare situations that are arising with devastating consequences. This will never happen if we don’t push for the recognition of breastfeeding as being something important on a public health level and at an individual level for so many women. This and the lack of support given to women is the real issue that we should all be fighting for.
“Fed is best” comes from a time when we finally acknowledged, and brought awareness, to the stigmas and detrimental health consequences mother and child faced when dry breast mothers were too shamed, stigmatized, and ill efucated by judgemental family, friends, and society to understand it was ok to ask for help and switch to formula. Did you not know about that? Your useless rant about kids eating fast food is irrelevant to the phrase you are disputing, and why you are disputing it is also irrelevant to the cause that coined the phrase. You say you did your homework, but your lack of connection with real problems in our community is telling. Talk about privilege.
What an arrogant c*nt you are! I gave up reading the ‘drivel’ that you are spouting. What right do you have to judge someone else how they feed THEIR child?! Really I’d like to know what makes you so superior in *your* eyes! How dare you belittle,judge, patronise and disrespect other parents based on how they choose to feed THEIR child! I’d say ‘ I hope you’re ashamed of this article’ but you clearly aren’t compassionate enough to give a flying f*ck what other people may feel! You and you alone are what is wrong with this society! Peoole like YOU make a barrier between breastfeeding and formula feeding mothers! I assume you are up there on your soap box thinking you’re a ‘perfect parent’- well I think you’re a massive and I mean MASSIVE twat! Genuinely you, your partner, your friends (if you have any- judging by this I assume you lack ALOT of social interaction) and your family (if they even want to know you at all) should be so completely and utterly disappointed in who/What you are and what you represent! The term ‘fed is best ‘ implies that there shouldn’t be barriers between mothers on how they choose to feed THEIR CHILD! but again you are so pig ignorant and arrogant that I don’t expect you to understand that AT ALL! you are clearly so far stuck up your own anus that you can’t possibly see a larger picture. I suppose you think a woman should get post natal depression because breastfeeding isn’t working for that woman just so she can join you and the rest of the ‘breast feeding tribe ‘, never mind for her own mental health which then affects her child as long as she is breastfeeding! I’m actually embarrassed that you thought this was a rational, normal and acceptable article to post! You’re an idiot! I’ve breastfed AND formula fed my kids. If you’re the result of ‘breastfeeding’ then thank Fuck I gave up because I can hand on my heart say that I wish and pray that my kids (and anyone else’s kids) end up with your mind set. Pig ignorant, errant, pompous, small minded littke twat. So that’s what I think of your sh*t that you’ve written ☺ you’re welcome! ???
*a lot
I EBF’d my son for the first six months and have continued to feed him in year two, going into year three. I’m pro-breastfeeding for a myriad of reasons, but all the commotion over the Fed is Best Foundation made me suspicious. I went looking and reading to understand their message.
The say, “Our bottom line is that we believe in SAFE breastfeeding for EVERY newborn, SAFE milk bank or SAFE formula feeding for every newborn where it’s more appropriate – and NOT breastfeeding at all costs.”
They don’t say all babies need supplementation, and they provide guidelines for when supplementation should be considered. There are posts that are useful to new breastfeeders as they try to overcome common barriers.
I’m just not seeing where “Fed is Best” means anything other than ensuring newborns receive adequate nutrition from breastfeeding, donor milk, or formula.
Could anyone point out where they’re saying all this other stuff?
Your opinion is appreciated and needed. Thank you! I feel awful that people have written such terrible responses to this post and I hope they roll off your back.
I realize how much personal baggage there is for people on this topic. Sadly they’ve been led to believe that anything that doesn’t say “everything is wonderful” is a personal attack. It’s unfortunate but I hope it can change soon so that everyone can be supported.
I have happily breast fed long term to 4 kids. Im lucky enough to not have had the need to use formular. Which im glad about because im vegan and to me it just seems weird that we would suppliment our own milk for that of another species! However, i do understand there are complications some mothers experience so its great formular exists so these babies have some nutrition. But the more I find out about breast milk… the more valuable it appears. It apparently contains stem cells so prevents and cures cancer. And it contains a bacteria that fills the childs belly with germs which prevent any other germ being absorbed… so the child had a very low risk of catching flu, sickness etc etc. So although a formular fed child recieves nutrients they do not recieve all these other magic ingredients which means a normal breast fed childs health is far superior. As a person who has a passion for health, i would rather see a society using wet nurses again instead of formular. Or more advice into how to increase milk (there are lots of ways but medical practitioners are uneducated on the subject) I dont think ‘fed is best’ i think feeding a child the most nutritious and healthy food is huge priority. Would we use this slogan with obese kids ‘fed is best’ no… the human body is a complex machine and needs the right fuel to keep going and working well.
Dear Lord, poor Tracy. The promotion of breast-feeding over formula feeding isn’t necessarily judgmental. No where in this post did she make formula feeding out to be a terrible thing. It’s the lesser of the options most of the time. Women know this. I think a lot of woman who end up formula feeding feel guilty/ashamed/defeated because they know what the best option was, but either they weren’t able to provide it for their baby, or they chose not to. But that’s on them. A lot of mothers or soon to be mothers still don’t know all of the benefits about breastfeeding, which is why I promote studies about benefits and show my own support for new mothers breastfeeding on facebook. That’s not judgmental. I had my own problems breastfeeding my son for the first 6 months, and I would not have blamed any other mother for formula feeding in my position. Mostly because I was consistently provided with misguided information from health care professionals when my baby wasn’t gaining enough weight. I was told to supplement with formula…I nursed and then supplemented with breastmilk, instead. When ONE lactation consultant FINALLY told me my son had an upper lip tie, I asked the pediatrician about this condition and he told me “No, don’t get that removed, it looks fine. We don’t believe that in pediatrics.” I had it done anyway because I did a lot of my own research, saw another pediatrician who laughed at me and told me the same thing. But he MAGICALLY was able to nurse w/o the nipple shield, didn’t nurse for 45 minutes at a time, and started gaining weight normally. I wish more health care professionals would have known about upper lip ties, it would have saved my baby and I a lot of stress.
I have never read anything more hateful in my life.
I have a three-month-old son. He is the sweetest thing and obviously I want what’s best for him, but because of postpartum depression, my has taken supply has taken a huge hit. I tried supplements, herbal teas, excessive pumping…nothing has helped. Throw on top of that a blood clot the length of my leg that isn’t going away. My cardiologist wants to put me on a medication that would make breastfeeding unsafe for my child. So I’m sorry for not risking my life to have an exclusively breast-fed baby. This does not make me a terrible mother.
Sometimes breastfeeding is impossible, and because of people like you, mothers like me have suicidal thoughts brought on by this. We already feel like bad mothers, and articles like this bring on a whole new wave of self-hate. I do not have enough middle fingers for you or this post. I hope your milk dries up the next time you have a baby so you’ll stop being so ignorant.
I’m sorry that your situation and whatever else is going on has led you to read something in this piece that isn’t there at all. I wish you all the best.
Obviously Breast is best, hands down. Even if I was in a situation where I could not breastfeed my child any longer and was forced to use formula for some horrific reason, which is possible, then I would do it but I would never sit there feeding my baby formula thinking that somehow the formula is now superior to breastmilk. I would be sad, heartbroken and devastated if that happened, and it’s okay to feel that way. But I would honor that feeling and grieve the loss. Yet it’s equally okay to take solace in the fact that at that moment in time I am doing WHAT’s best for my baby- even thought it’s not THE best thing he could be ingesting. It’s all contextual.
Just as you keep reminding all of the very upset women who have commented here, your response to the Fed is Best campaign is just as colored by your own experiences and emotions as theirs are. The way you interpret the message has everything to do with your world view, your privilege, and your experiences. Just as you want people to understand that this is your opinion, you shouldn’t be surprised, or even offended, that others don’t share that interpretation and yet you seem to be.
I also think its sort of ironic that you call for better education for formula-feeding and breastfeeding because issues arise with both, and yet you decry Fed is Best, an organization/movement that advocates for the exact same thing. You also point out deaths related to formula-feeding that are incredibly rare, kind of like how formula-feeders and Dr. Amy point out deaths related to breast-feeding that are incredibly rare. You’re purposely bringing up the scariest stuff you can think of for emotional affect, which does little to serve your argument and makes you just as culpable as the other side in these ridiculous mommy mind-games that we are all constantly subjected to.
If you’re going to use your scientific training, education, and background as a draw for your writing, you should probably consider using the same neutrality in your blog that you would use in a statistical analysis or scholarly article. Otherwise, you don’t live up to the advertising. I came here because I thought maybe with a title like “Evolutionary Parenting” you would offer some truly balanced and practical parenting advice/commentary and I have to say, it’s all pretty much the same sanctimonious crap you can get on Facebook.
Breast is not always best you idiots! Human milk composition shows extreme variability among individuals. Some women’s milk is nowhere near as nutritious as the formula you guys label as inadequate.. after 4 months breast milk is nowhere near as complete as formula iron, b22 and zinc which are all vital for babbies drop drastically…. but please keep breastfeeding your offspring until they are 12 because you and your milk are so perfect…I am sure it has wonderful benefits for adolescents..
I’m so sorry you seem to have been so misinformed about human milk. If it were true that these nutrients dropped too drastically for babies, none of us would be here. Please remember that. I can see you aren’t actually interested in discourse though based on your decision to bring adolescents into it, but if you ever want to discuss further, I’d be happy to.
My interpretation of “Fed is Best” and yours are completely different. I see it as a response to the aggressive “Breast is Best” campaign tactics that leave many women feeling shamed if they don’t/can’t breastfeed. Ultimately it is each woman’s choice and the medical community should be forth coming about all options and not make women feel guilty. I find the organization and message important because so many in the medical community are so indoctrinated in “Breast is Best” that they are dismissive or shaming of women ask about formula.
I had a terrible experience with breastfeeding after having my son. Everything I was told was “Breast was Best” so of course that was my plan. By the second day my son was so upset, constantly trying to feed, and my nipples were raw. I expressed a couple times that I felt like I wasn’t making enough milk but all the Lactation consultant said was I holding him wrong, or he was cluster feeding, or basically I wasn’t trying hard enough. That night he was inconsolable so I broke down and asked for formula but they made me feel so terrible for asking that I didn’t give him the bottle. Fortunately I went to my pediatrician on the 3rd day and when I expressed my concern to her, she weighed him and agreed. He had lost 10% of his weight. We gave him a bottle which he greedily drank. When I got home I pumped for 45 min and produced only drops. My son was starving for 2 days and because above all “breast is best” the medical professionals completely dismissed my legitimate concerns and just let it happen. I still feel so guilty when I think about the fact that I put him through that.
I think once again some people are miss reading the article basically there are more up hill battles to fight when it comes to breast feeding and the fed is best campaign talks about the worst problems when it comes to breast feeding the scarry stuff and it sounds like they r saying breast feeding is starving babies yes they mention about suplimenting but again with scary stories of starving babies and there is also a bacteria that is in dry formula look it up if no one believes me And yes I did supliment so no I don’t have an issue with formula I just wish everyone could b on the same page I wish I could just go out and feed my baby with out getting yelled at for feeding my kids and no I don’t agree with mom shaming formula fed babies but this article is Not shaming formula fed babies Please read the article again
As a mom who nursed two for a couple months and two for three years, over 20 and 30 years ago, I enjoyed your articles. I have a niggling feeling about Fed is Best that I just can’t pinpoint.
Maybe, it’s because I had experience with struggling with a baby who was hungry all the time, at two months, and no support system. I didn’t know about growth spurts, supply and demand, and cluster feelings. My daughter just had baby number 3 and exclusively breastfed her first two, even though she had latching issues with baby one that caused her much pain. Maybe it’s because for me, with baby #3, I got involved with La Leche League, and just being around other nursing mothers and seeing them feed their babies was all I needed. I had to call the leader once when my son went in a four day nursing strike, and that was a big help.
Thank you for you thoughts.
You are an asshole!! Plain and simple! This world is negative enough for women and now having a woman like you putting her own tribe down. Shame on u!!
How come anyone I know who’s been formula fed is brilliant and doesn’t get sick? You pro breastfeeding moms take this shit to a whole new level for no reason. My grandmas sister formula fed all her babies and they have genius IQ. My sister in law formula fed her one daughter and she’s very brilliant and advanced extremely quick. Her other daughter she strictly breastfeed yet she’s still not talking well at 2.5 years old and gets chronic ear infections. Explain that one. There really isn’t concrete evidence to prove that breastfed children end up being more smart or healthier opposed to formula fed children. Clearly I have a lot of proof from grown individuals themselves that ended up more than fine on formula. get a life and find another hobby rather than caring so much about how people choose to feed their babies! You think people want to spend hundreds of dollars on formula each month?! It comes down to more of the fact some women just can’t possibly breastfeed for numerous reasons. Try being a little more open minded and take a back seat on ur breastfeeding rants.
Really moronic. And you don’t have to reply to me in a “I’m sorry you feel that way you misread into it” shit. Yeah, let me just let my son’s jaundice get worse and worse because I wasn’t producing enough breast milk to flush his system of it. He’s smart and we have a strong bond. Formula isn’t as bad as you are demonizing it to be so stop spreading bias and hate.
I came across this post somehow. I am somewhat unexpectedly pregnant with my fourth child and am therefore facing a decision on how to feed this fourth baby, my feelings being somewhat conflicted because of a horrible experience my third time around. I nursed my first two for a year. They had no formula. I admit I was pretty proud of that fact. Then the third time around I was humbled. Horrible, horrible pain. I saw a lactation consultant and was told to try a different position. It didn’t help my very sore and shredded nipples heal. I asked about lip/tongue ties. Nope, I was told, her mouth looks fine. So I tried to push through, thinking eventually it would get better. It didn’t. In hindsight I believe that despite having initially more than enough milk for her, the pain and stress inhibited my letdown reflex eventually, leading to my milk nearly drying up. I was finally awakened to how dire things really were when she became lethargic and stopped peeing and pooping and gaining weight. Long story short I weaned her from direct nursing at 7 weeks and although I continued to pump for her for awhile, I never regained a full supply and out of frustration and heartache over what I felt at the time was a “failure”, I stopped and put her on formula. I grieved the loss of my expectations for longer than I care to admit…mostly because I believed at the time she was my last baby.
Here’s my revamped perspective on the whole thing: These “debates” are rooted in pride. That may seem like strong language but it’s true. When breastfeeding goes well, hubris and a sense of being invincible color our perspective and lead us to say and write things that, although we sometimes give cursory “sympathy” towards those who have a bad experience, our words usually betray what we really think. When it doesn’t go well, many become bitter (partly because their pride has been hurt) and take every comment promoting breastfeeding as a personal attack. I did read this post thoroughly and I did detect an intent to portray the “fed is best” phrase in a different, and not altogether untrue, light. However, I detected a good bit of hubris as well. And the F bombs could have been left out…..they don’t exactly portray someone in a good light, as far as I’m concerned.
Here’s the reality: Breast may or may not be best, DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION. It is most likely best if the mother is eating a very good diet, is exposed to little or no pollution, is on no drugs, is happy and relaxed, and there is harmony in the home (as opposed to constant stress and tension). If one or more of the above don’t apply, I’m not sure that it is best. Your baby may actually be better off on formula. In the case of my third baby, she got what was best for her. The first seven weeks when she was exclusively breastfed were hell. I was not eating well because of stress and I was anxious, in pain and and tense (and my daughter picked up on that). Today as a four-year-old she is very healthy, beautiful, and smart. Six months of formula didn’t hurt her one bit.
We need to stop making a bodily function a focus of pride. I know I’ll probably lose many with this last paragraph, but I believe in a God who is the creator of all things, who resists the proud and exalts the humble. One of my exlusively breastfed sons is autistic. Breast milk did not prevent that from happening. I have known other breastfed babies who were constantly sick. I believe God allows these sorts of things to happen to humble us. Breastfeeding is clearly not a panacea. So, going into my fourth round of baby feeding, I hold to the “fed is best” mantra.
Yes, fed is best DOES reek of privilege, and the fact is some people ARE privileged. I gave birth to my baby in a private hospital in one of the wealthiest places in the world.
UNICEF prepares its medical advice taking into consideration women who live on $5/day. Of course I should not be given the same advice as a woman living in rural Uganda. UNICEF is a far left wing socialist, globalist organisation.
My baby lost 10 percent of his body weight in the hospital because the hospital refused to provide me with a formula supplement. The risks of providing formula to babies in wealthy, western areas are substantially lower and we should not be following the advice that has been tailored to serve the poorest people on earth. My baby should not have been put at risk for a politicial ideology and to entertain this fantasy that all women are the same.
Breastfeeding has a small correlation with better health and academic outcomes. But correlation does not mean causation. Consider that 1) wealthy women who have jobs which provide prolonged maternity leave are substantially more likely to breastfeed 2) premature babies who are unable to latch in the early days of life are much more likely to be bottle fed 3) women who regularly use recreational drugs or drink heavily are less likely to breastfeed. Higher IQ, wealthy mothers produce higher IQ offspring. Preemie babies often have heath problems throughout their life regardless of whether they are bottle or breast fed. And obviously parents who regularly use drugs are more likely to have children who regularly use drugs. The benefits of breastfeeding are at best marginal. The breast is beat movement is another misogynistic movement, designed to keep women enslaved. Women have rights over their own bodies, and they have the right not to breastfeed.
Gave birth two weeks ago and my son had jaundice from Day 2 and was almost brought to NICU for another week (I am so glad we fed him with formula which helped him excrete the excess bilirubin. I can’t just produce enough breastmilk even after 5 days of breast massage, hand pumping by four lactation consultants, etc). It was so hard to look for reasons and solutions why I could not meet his demand. Needless to say, the first week with him which was supposed to be magical had been the most depressing period in my life. Just to watch him wither away and lose more than 10% of his weight in just 48hours is devastating. He was latching properly but it was my body, my biological framework (lack of glandular tissue) which caused him to be sick, lethargic, and yellow. It pained me so much that I cried everyday. I ultimately left the breastfeeding support group which I joined because I cannot find any support there (only moms like you who are judgmental and not empowering at all). I joined another group which recognizes that these kinds of things happen and it’s all right to feed your baby formula to save his life. I am at a much better place now, mentally and physically, because I know now that keeping my baby FED is BEST. For the record, I am doing pumping, breastfeeding, and formula supplementation now. Never been happier to see my baby healthy. I am so glad those days where I was exclusively breastfeeding (but baby was getting sick) were over. Thank God for formula 🙂
There are so many misinformed mothers here, which are the only ones who can tolerate your snobby article. You appear old enough to have been of age when the movement “Fed is Best” came about. The reason was NOT to say breast isn’t best. Everyone already felt pressured to breast feed, as that information is hammered into expecting mothers. As is the idea that natural birth at all costs is best. Women who could hold claim to these titles were shaming the emergency c section mother, and that caused women to almost risk everything to be able to hold the same claim. The same concept of shaming those who didn’t do it “the best way” applied to how mothers and even society in general shamed other mothers for formula feeding, even when they were ignorant as to why the mother chose that option. The point is, your article missed the whole point of the movement that basically came about so the boastful natural birth, breast feeding mothers, and any other know it all , would stop shaming those who were medically incapable of meeting the standards of the prideful side of society. The movement educated about the benefits of breastfeeding, but also educated expecting mothers and society that there are other options if breastfeeding doesn’t work, and that if they cannot breastfeed they need to reach out for professional support. The support is usually a lactation nurse who will troubleshoot. If the mother cannot breastfeed then formula is prescribed without shaming the mother. Education is provided and check up appts are given. So many good things came from that movement, which is why I question your understanding of it. You don’t seem to have any sense of the real problems mothers go through. Babies have become severely malnourished, and some have even starved to death because of the lack of education. Fed is better than dead, don’t you think. I do. Formula isn’t horrific. It’s an option. Please further your knowledge of the real fed is best campaign. It has saved lives.
I very much align with what the author has to say. I find that people get so hyper focused on not shaming mothers they aren’t able to engage in discourse about this topic. You can talk about the detriments of this slogan without shaming mothers whatever feeding they end up using. But that’s what makes this slogan so effective, because it shuts down thoughtful discourse by implying anyone who dare talk about it is shaming mothers. So you’re painted a villain.