Homeschooling is something that gets mixed reviews when I bring up that we plan on it for our daughter. Whereas most people we know are actually quite supportive, there are those that seem to truly believe that parents are not competent to teach their children. And so I thought I’d briefly talk about the reasons why we have decided to go this route and to clear up some of the misconceptions that may be out there about those of us who choose to teach our kids at home.
First, let’s clear up the misconceptions…
1. We don’t have a problem with teachers. I address this first because this seems to be a go-to for some people. Some believe the reason people homeschool is that we don’t trust or like teachers, when often nothing could be further from the truth (though we freely admit there are good and bad teachers out there, like every other profession). I have the utmost respect for good teachers. My brother just finished his teaching degree last year. My mother-in-law is a retired teacher. My husband’s father’s side of the family are almost all teachers. Of course, hearing this makes people even more curious about why we want to homeschool, but hopefully it’s clear we don’t hate teachers. That said, do I think one needs a teaching degree in order to homeschool well? No. Some people will not be great at conveying information to their children, some will be able to do so, though often those who aren’t good at it don’t really want to undertake it to begin with. This is especially true when thinking of the one-on-one teaching that homeschooling provides. As a parent, you know your child well and know how to work with them. Some teachers may be offended that we think we can do what they do without their education. I disagree. Where teachers are far superior to most parents, and where their education becomes paramount, is when it comes to teaching lots of children of differing abilities. I think of that scenario and will gladly hand over the reins to someone far more qualified than I.
2. We’re not homeschooling so she doesn’t learn about X,Y, or Z. Outside of hating teachers, people assume you homeschool because you’re religious and don’t want your child learning about evolution or sex ed or anything like that. Personally I plan to teach my daughter about all theories and views about the world (including religious ones, even though we are agnostic). As to sex ed, well, are the schools really getting it right? Do I really want my child learning it there? No, I will be making sure my child has ALL the information. Does this mean there aren’t parents who are doing what some fear? Of course not. But I would go so far as to say the majority of homeschoolers do not fall into this camp of trying to hide other points of view from our children (even the religious ones).
3. Group work and peer play time need not happen in school. I often get asked how my child will see other kids or learn how to work in a group if she’s homeschooled. I answer both of these with: Activities and plans outside school learning. Right now we attend a homeschool meet-up weekly where the kids all socialize together – different ages, abilities, etc. all playing at least once a week (and on average they socialize far better than the children we see at the public school). However, the older kids all do activities together too outside of that meet up so they’re seeing their friends on a regular basis. Sometimes group work is done during the meet-ups as kids will all work on something together (though sometimes they just play). We also will enroll our daughter in other group activities (drama, sports, etc.) that promote teamwork. In fact, I find most people learn better teamwork skills from things like a sports team than activities in the classroom where often one person takes the lead and does the work while the others mess around.
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Now, the reasons we plan to homeschool?
1. We struggle with how schools are run today (where we are). Same-aged classrooms, teaching to the test, focus on the average student without much consideration of children’s individual abilities or strengths. These are all reasons we don’t like the current school model in terms of teaching. Then you add in that while there are wonderful teachers at every school, there are also shit teachers. I’ve heard my own teacher friends complain about the bad ones and frankly you don’t have much control over which teacher your child will end up with. And we’re not prepared to accept one year of bad teaching, much less the possibility of multiple ones.
2. We don’t like the type of socialization that happens in schools here. Bullying continues to be a huge problem in schools and neither schools nor parents seem ready to respond. Gender roles run rampant with girls and boys being teased for not conforming to the stereotypical way of behaving. Sadly this starts very young. Even in school plays we noticed early (my stepson attends public school) that the roles were not open to everyone. Boys played boy roles, girls played girl roles, even if the girls were itching to play a boy (who doesn’t want to be Santa when you’re young enough not to care?). And then of course there’s the issue of how children interact with different-aged playmates. The segregation of children by age in a classroom means there’s very little in the way of interactions with older or younger children. Kids don’t get to learn to be mentors, they don’t learn how to play appropriately with younger children, they don’t get to learn from looking to older kids on a regular basis (which is one of the best ways they learn). In short, we short-change our children socially in a school setting.
3. The structure of school days is developmentally inappropriate. Children are not supposed to be sitting for extended periods. They are not supposed to be inside for extended periods. Children need regular exercise breaks, they need to run free, to get fresh air. If we want our children to learn, they need to be outside every 45 minutes for a break. Sitting at a desk for most of the day at age 10 is far too far away from our hunter-gatherer ancestors who, at that age, would be hunting in the forest, or caring for children, or cooking food, or doing one of many other learning activities in an outdoor, active environment. And when schools take away recess as punishment? It ignores that most children who act out are doing so because they need the break. Take that away and you’re asking for more trouble for the child. Where we live we now also have full-day kindergarten which ignores the fact that many children still nap at that age. With no naptime and expectations of being able to sit still and pay attention for six to eight hours, we are creating problems in terms of our children’s sleep and mental well-being.
4. The content of most schooling (especially early) is developmentally inappropriate. When I see the push to start everything earlier, I cringe. Every bit of research has shown that starting formal education later and allowing children to learn through play early is essential to really learning. Children in Kindergarten don’t need to know how to read. Some might naturally be doing this, and that’s okay, but forcing it because we’ve seen in research that children “can” do it (even if they aren’t totally ready) isn’t great at all. We can all often do things outside of what we are capable of, but learning it at that point, when we haven’t mastered the foundations or don’t have the neural capacity, is idiotic. Waiting for children’s brains to be truly ready to master a new task is essential – especially tasks as important to our society as reading, writing, or math. Equally oddly, schooling then seems to assume our children are idiots later on (maybe we’ve made them that way) and the curriculum often falls on the side of too easy for a child that is working from a developmentally appropriate place. Homeschooling means we can follow a developmentally-appropriate curriculum.
5. We want to follow our daughter’s lead. There’s nothing like watching your child discover a passion and be able to roll with it with her until she loses interest (which may be years or never!). Not only is it amazing to watch the excitement your child develops over learning, but you know that when she learns something it’s going to be stuck. When she learns for herself, she will truly be learning. She won’t learn to regurgitate information on a test and then forget it, she will learn because she wants to learn. And here’s the secret that many parents have forgotten: Children want to learn. They so desperately want to explore the world and figure it out – we humans just seem to have this knack. Sadly children lose it when learning becomes a chore (but you can reclaim it by following their lead, even if it’s just outside of school), but if you can keep that curiosity alive in them, you can watch them learn a ton with just a bit of guidance. Homeschooling allows us to go this route: Follow our daughter as she finds passions and we have to work ourselves to fit concepts into things she’s already interested in (instead of asking her to try and be interested in something because it’s on the agenda for the day).
6. We really want to be involved in our daughter’s education. Yeah, you can join the Parents’ Association or volunteer in the classroom, but you really are just an observer to what your child is doing. And if you see behaviours you don’t like in the school or a teacher who’s calling it in, there really isn’t much you can do. We view our job as parents to prepare our children for life. As such, education is a huge part of this. If we lived in a place where we felt the schooling was developmentally appropriate and included lots of breaks for physical activity (like many schools in Europe) or we could afford some of the private schools that take this approach, we might consider it and then get involved as volunteers. However, for us, being hands on is very important and homeschooling is one way we can be involved in our child’s life and learning.
7. We value one-on-one attention for learning. The amount of time it takes to teach a child something when you are working directly with them is far less than when you have to speak broadly to 20 other children as well. In the latter case you need to take all kids into account and explain it in a way that most of them will get. One-on-one you get to tailor your explanations to that particular child. Of the families we know that homeschool, they spend a fraction of the time doing official schoolwork with their children and their children end up ahead. That’s a win-win in my books.
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Is homeschooling for everyone? Nope. Some won’t feel confident in their abilities to teach their children. Some don’t have jobs or situations that would allow for it. Some simply aren’t interested in it. But those of us who are doing it aren’t trying to shelter our children, we don’t hate teachers, and we have very legitimate reasons for wanting to go this route. So please don’t worry about my child. Worry about fixing the school system that is causing so many people to look at alternatives to the public schooling that was once considered a great fixture of modern society.
Congratulations Tracy! If we spend time fixing the school system while our children are inside it what happens to their minds and souls?
Home education was our only choice after just one year of public school for our oldest son. I’m quite relieved that he became a capable writer – non-fiction; his early story telling at age 6 was squashed after less than three months in school!
No recess was a big issue for me nearly 30 years ago and it pains me to know that now 18 month olds and up have so little outdoor time when consigned to daycare for 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week – unless they have the benefit of a Sudbury School or a Forest School. Isn’t it heartbreaking?
Once we came home to learn again we had plenty of outdoor time each day.
No system is perfect but if you develop the skills of learning – asking questions, reading and researching – then there’s no reason why those educated at home shouldn’t do just as well in life (probably better and more satisfied) than those who go the traditional route. No choice now comes with a guarantee.
Good luck to you all in this adventure – your daughter will benefit tremendously from continuity of care, education, family and friendships.
Being an education major, all of the research says that you retain and comprehend material better at a younger age. Even when the material learned is not used for years the ability to remember and use it later works better when you store it at an early age. Where did your research come from?
My research comes from education journals. I worked as a research analyst for the Canadian Council on Learning for a spell, looking at and determining the quality and conclusions of the studies.
My question is what material are you thinking of? Facts? Or how to learn? Or how to read? Age-appropriateness is KEY to learning information.
Children are indeed “sponges” at an early age but as Tracy points out, there is a drastic difference between rote memorization and true learning. As for a young child’s ability to comprehend material better at a young age, this is blatantly not true. Research has demonstrated that each child has a developmentally appropriate course to learning with different skills occurring at different ages. If you try to force a child to learn too much too soon you will irreversibly squash their natural inclination to learn.
I enjoyed this insight, although the following sentence seems rather illogical: “We can all often do things outside of what we are capable of, but learning it at that point, when we haven’t mastered the foundations or don’t have the neural capacity, is idiotic.”
I would argue that none of us can do things outside of what we are capable. Hence the being capable part. Likewise, “neural capacity” is a prerequisite to doing things, and if we don’t have it, we don’t do it (although the generation of neural synapses is stimulated BY doing, so trying to wait until you have those connections to attempt something would be rather futile).
Besides, in my region of the country at least, core standards are far from pressing — e.g., they spend several months “teaching” kindergartners to identify letters, even though nearly all of them come into the year with that ability. Certainly they aren’t forcing them to read before they have “mastered the foundations.”
Good call on language – I was thinking zone of proximal development which we can go out of but used capable instead 🙂
I have a problem. I want to homeschool. I have wanted to homeschool since I was a child and learned that parents could teach their own children. My boyfriend does not. He is very against homeschooling (for us, he understands that for others it works) We both went to public schools and both us got very bored which led to us acting out, losing interest and eventually receiving poor grades. We live in a part of New York state that has a terrible school system. Seriously, the majority of high school graduates I’ve met here think NYC is the state’s capital. Anyways, the problem is that I don’t know how to convince him it’s the best option. I’ve talked to him about a local Forest school, but we definitely would not be able to afford it full time. And while we do have a few years before we think about school, I know that this is something I want to do for my son.
If you’ve got time, just keep his mind open – I think the more you look into options (including some homeschool programs that offer multi-age classrooms for a day or two a week) he may be on board. Just find all the options you want and then present them and discuss. Try to understand why he doesn’t want it and try to find a way to compromise 🙂
[…] home educate). The ever-interesting Evolutionary Parenting website recently published an article on reasons to home school, which again I found relevant-to-my-life because a lot of people assume I want to do it because […]
I have to say that it is great you want to homeschool… but a lot of what you say about schools here are just gross generalizations. My kids have attended public schools and this has not been their experience. Plus, there are public Montessori schools, alternative schools… not all schools are the same.
I am a high school teacher and educating children is a very difficult job to do. Parents who think they could homeschool their children are wrong. Teaching children takes years of learning all of the knowledge that a child needs to know. Parents may not have the knowledge or degree in education and should not be aloud to educate their children. It is not right that some people spend years in college to get a teaching degree, and their are parents that can educate their child with zero college experience. Parents should not be able to educate their children.
Wow – that’s a little weird considering how many of the public schools are failing children left right and center. As for “years” in college – in Canada it’s a 1 year degree. That’s it. I’ve had far more schooling getting my MA/PhD. But regardless, your comments ignore that homeschooled children often do better than public school children on tests (on average). You’re asking parents to take their children out of a system that works for them and gives them the education they often need (many special ed or gifted children are homeschooled because the system doesn’t work with them) in favour of a system that fails too many kids (and may have been the reason the child left public schooling to begin with).
Not only that, but what of the cases where children homeschool because they’ve been bullied, etc. in schools? I don’t see schools doing much of anything on that front. The social problems in schools today (often due to age segregation that occurs) are not to be taken lightly.
In short, you can say you wouldn’t homeschool, but to suggest parents shouldn’t have the right is ignoring all the research on homeschooling that there is.
Although I do believe you have a right to home school your daughter, I think public education offers more than just curriculum. To clarify, teachers in Canada have to have an undergraduate degree before they can take a BEd and Ontario is the only province still offering the one year after degree. They also engage in on-going professional development. I believe strongly in public education and believe it offers a safe and caring environment for my child.
I’m not questioning your ability to teach your child nor her ability to be successful in learning, I just think home schooled students miss out on valuable experiences only offered in schools.
As I said in the piece, I am surrounded by teachers. Of course, most of them believe in homeschooling as a very viable option. In BC, with our experience with my stepson in a public school, we have not seen this great environment, despite him being in one of the best public schools here. And I know the degree requirements here (the switch to 2 years is relatively new, even in BC) and of course they have to have an undergrad degree, but so do most people, and even that doesn’t necessarily speak to how much someone knows or continues with their education.
I would ask though, what “valuable experiences” are ONLY offered in schools??
Tracy,
Please don’t mistake me, I am not against the idea of homeschooling nor do I believe that public education fits every child.
I do however think, learning and socializing in an environment without parental support is part of growing up. We can’t protect our children from the realities of our world ( and trust me when I tell you, the thought of my girl begin teased, hurt or bullied breaks my heart). I guess it boils down to personal experience. I’m an educator in small town BC and have seen homeschool students come into high school and struggle both socially and academically. Not because their parents haven’t done a great job but because they have missed out on the educational environment.
I respect your parenting knowledge – your daughter is so fortunate to have parents that care so deeply. I just think school introduces children to many different teaching and learning styles – and much like the world we’re preparing our kids for – they won’t all fit with your daughters style or needs. It also forces children to work with, cooperate with and accept the many different personalities they will be required to work alongside with as they head into the world.
Good parents want to protect their kids. You’re obviously a great parent. I think I am too and trust myself to build the confidence my daughter requires to handle the ‘negative’ parts of school while she thrives in the parts I think are going to help her as she grows.
Shannon,
Your assumption is that children who are homeschooled don’t get the opportunity to socialize and work with others when, in my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. The homeschool group I belong too has children taking multiple classes – without parents – on everything from art to tai-kwon-do (sp?) to science to outdoor hunting/camping skills. These children spend lots of time in the company of other kids (multi-age settings too, something that is lacking sorely in the school system) without their parents and learn to get along. In fact, they get along better with each other and with kids of different ages than the children I have seen in public schools here. I agree it’s not for everyone and that there will be cases where someone homeschools and it doesn’t work – just as there are cases where children in public schools suffer and should have been removed earlier. Though my experience is only my experience, I have now met quite a few homeschooled adults and I can only hope my children are as well-adjusted, comfortable in their own skin, and confident as these individuals. (As an aside, my mother-in-law is a retired teacher and only ever found the homeschooled students in her area – which were many in a farming community – excel and come in ahead of the rest of the class.)
Clearly you have a belief that the school environment is somehow necessary. And you come to it from your own bias as a teacher. I admit I never thought of homeschooling my daughter before or when she was born. I had a wonderful school experience myself and homeschooling would have been downright awful for me – in fact, the thought of it makes me cringe. However, even with that background, I can look at my daughter and look at what both the public school here in Vancouver and homeschooling can offer her and it’s not even a close competition. And I don’t fear that she wouldn’t be able to handle bullies (you meet my daughter and you’d know what I mean); this isn’t about sheltering her, but rather about helping her reach her full potential. She will end up in classes without me, but simply because I can’t protect her from the “realities of our world” does not mean it is my duty to throw her into an environment that won’t help her develop the skills needed to deal with that world (unless you can explain to me how schooling actually develops these skills in a way that can’t be learned in other realms like sports teams, art classes, etc.).
I realize you’re trying to be respectful in your comments, but to be honest, they are anything but and I tell you this because I honestly don’t believe you meant it this way. I would hope you would read through it to see that your implications are that homeschooling parents only shelter their children, don’t feel competent to help them handle negative elements of life, don’t socialize them, and don’t provide them with proper environments to learn and grow. I honestly don’t believe you intend this but this is what you have said. Public school may be perfect for your child, as it was for me personally, but just as I would have lacked being homeschooled myself, I can safely say there are many children who would be worse off in a school environment relative to being homeschooled.
And for the record, you still have not provided me with a single experience that is ONLY available in a school environment 😉
To the teacher that posted- too many spelling and grammar mistakes for you to actually be a teacher! Tracy is being very nice to not point them out!
Allowed, teacher, not aloud! Jee I was full of prejudice before reading this piece, as I am from Europe, but I think you Christina have convinced me otherwise!!!
Oh Christina Meyers, I am so glad you went to college for years and are so well educated to teach so many children, I can only assume you were never taught how to teach english and grammar since you can’t even spell allowed and there in the correct context!
*English
I have homeschooled my own 4 children now for 15 years and they have done very well when they started school in grade 9. I started a Masters in Teaching (high school – math) a couple of years ago and have almost finished this degree and I have to say that I am very happy I started it after I had already taught my own children for so many years. Teaching and education degrees are pretty worthless. They fill your head with useless theories and politically correct nonsense. Parents are generally much better teachers because they just want their child to learn and try different things until the child does learn – no such motivation for school teachers.
Also, for someone who claims to be a high school teacher who is highly qualified to teach, your spelling needs some work.
Tracy, your response to Christina is so polite, especially considering all the spelling and grammatical errors she made.
Also, Shannon, you need to look deeper into the actual meaning of “socialization”. Read Gordon Neufeld.
You are a high school teacher and can’t differentiate between ‘there’ and ‘their’. It doesn’t help your point of view.
Great points, and I agree with all of them. I would like to combine this with travelling as sticking to one physical/geographical location is just as limiting as being in school.
What are your plans with regards to curriculum and books/study material? As all school materials are age-defined and test-oriented, how do you choose the correct instruction materials?
Thanks!
I really enjoyed reading this piece. I’ve never given much thought to homeschooling, as I was always told it would hinder social development. I went to public schools for most of my education. I was fortunate enough to attend one of the top 10 public elementary schools in my state (Maine). I had a very difficult time socially. And there were so many tests I acquired a not so great habit of studying just for tests. I don’t study to learn full comprehension, just what I know will be on tests. It’s served me fairly well; I’m an excellent test-taker. But I think that it may be part of the reason why I never excelled in or found one area of special interest. I got mostly As in school, but I was so busy learning things that didn’t appeal to me that I didn’t have time to focus on subjects which did interest me, I also think that because I tested well, and have a fairly high I.Q that they overlooked some social problems I had relating to other people. I think if I was in elementary school today I may have been diagnosed as mildly autistic. I wish my mother had tried homeschooling me. She was an excellent teacher. I remember studying algebra for weeks at school, and my teacher just could not teach me. I think I asked too many questions, and didn’t trust her. I was getting Fs on the tests. My mother sat down for about 30 minutes with me one-on-one and explained it. I’ve got very high grades in algebra ever since. Perhaps if she had homeschooled me I wouldn’t have become so burned out on the education system I wouldn’t have dropped out of college. Back at the university now studying accounting, but it’s been a long road. Anyways, I think you made some excellent points. And I especially agree with the fact that schools do not have even close to enough time outside to run around and explore the world. And just time to breath the fresh air and let the mind process what it has just learned, I will probably try public school for my daughter and see how she likes it. If it’s not the right fit for her I will seriously consider homeschooling. I’m going to save this article. Thanks! 🙂
This! All of this! I cannot believe that there is implication that parents “not be allowed to educate their child”… Excuse me? I find that offensive. Yes, of course, there are parents that don’t do a great job of homeschooling as there are parents that don’t do a great job in many areas of parenting. But for those of us that choose it for our children, that is our call to make. They have chosen us to be their guardians, their carers and homeschooling is one way of respecting that.
hi there, tracy. i’m new to your site, and i’m really enjoying it.
we’re considering the unschooling possibility for our kiddo who is currently just shy of two years old. how old was your child when you started going to the weekly homeschoolers’ meeting? (i’ve been curious as to whether folks generally wait until their kids are closer to kindergarten age to join.)
Hi Cheryl,
My daughter was a couple months shy of 3 when we started going and I’m so glad I’ve done it that way. Having the experience of seeing what others do and where they converge on some practices and differ has been invaluable. I feel like I’m getting a couple years’ worth of education before I have to start myself 🙂
Tracy
ah! super helpful. thanks!
This is a great article! I have two High schoolers that are in Public school and I believe that Public School was good for them. However, we have a Kindergartner who is homeschooled and we feel that is the best place for her. In our experience the positive socialization that my older two daughter have had over the years was not in the schools but in additional activities that nothing to do with school. These are the same activities my homeschooler will participate in. We were terrified when we made the leap into homeschooling. We were afraid of so many things that were completely unfounded and now life and my daughter’s education is like a breath of fresh air. I cannot believe that we were scared.
I have read some of the comments here on how people without a teaching degree cannot possibly teach their children at home. My husband is a professor and an undergraduate director and the quality of teacher that he sees go through his program and the amount of actual knowledge of a topic is disgustingly sad. That is not to say that all teachers are like that, but teachers are trained to teach the masses, not the individual. I have taught in the classroom and have multiple degrees in various subjects, and I have found that the skills that I use the most are my time, my research, my common sense, and my one on one time with my little in order to help her learn the materials.
We are staunch believers in a good, quality education and right now the public schools would not be able to provide that for our daughter. So, instead of her being a social experiment, we are providing her with the life and education that she needs and will thrive on.
Wonderful article, thank you!
If I didn’t work I would homeschool. However I need to be working or I go insane! I also need to be earning a wage as hubby’s bus driving wage is appalling considering the 12 hours a day for 13 days in a row that he does. I still earn more than him. Then again…I’m a primary school teacher and therefore have every confidence in my ability to teach my son. That’s why at age 4 he is writing, reading and calculating and has an absolute passion for learning, which I take full advantage of…obviously you would! “Mummy can I read to you?” “Mummy can we do some writing?” “Mummy can I play a numbers game?” are frequently out of his mouth so I’m going to capitalise on his love of learning. Will it continue throughout his school life? Who knows? But for now at least he has the good foundations and an excellent school so I’m confident. However I am aware that I’m not fab with the messy stuff or the outdoor stuff (I hate mud and I hate bugs!) and I know he gets forest school once a week and gets to paint and do messy stuff everyday. My thing’s music so he gets that once a week at school (they’re playing ukelele’s at age 4!) and he gets that at home.
Yes there are flaws in the system within LA schools and also academies and the worst: free schools (seriously why??) but I’m confident in my son’s school. I have seen the school on a parental level and was also sent there on training 2 years ago just before he started at the nursery there.
I think it’s great that some parents either choose to or have the option to stay at home and therefore home school and it’s something I would probably want to do given the chance. If I was a childminder then definitely!