To spank or not to spank? It is a question asked by many parents, especially when faced with an unruly toddler or child, and the line dividing those who support the practice and those who do not is about as wide as a football field. This divide is not limited to countries where the practice proliferates (e.g., the USA), it is seen even in countries where the practice has been outlawed (e.g., New Zealand). For those who are proponents of spanking, the usual defense is that it is a time-honoured practice that is known to produce compliance amongst children. And given the history of corporal punishment in society, can we truly say that it is detrimental to those on the receiving end? On the other hand, parents who oppose the practice cite much research suggesting negative child outcomes associated with spanking as well as a low societal tolerance for physical altercations more generally, especially towards other adults. One would think that with the evidence cited by many countries and health professions against the practice, the issue would be moot. But (yes, there’s a ‘but’), much of the older research cited has flaws and thus leaves the door open for those who support the practice to stake their claim.
The Previous Evidence: What’s Wrong With It?
The most cited work against spanking was done by Elizabeth Gershoff in 2002 when she performed a meta-analysis and review of the literature on spanking. Dr. Gershoff reviewed 88 studies that spanned six decades and concluded that harsh punishment was related negatively to 10 of the 11 child outcomes examined[1]. The most prominent relationship was with childhood aggression, with children who had experienced harsh discipline and physical punishment being far more likely to exhibit aggressive tendencies throughout childhood. The one area which was not found to be negative was compliance, with harsh punishment being positively associated with immediate (but not long-term) compliance. However, as Dr. Gershoff herself stated in the meta-analysis, the studies examined utilized various definitions of spanking and included harsh punishments that might not be deemed to be spanking, clouding the conclusions that could be drawn. Furthermore, much of the previous research was cross-sectional (versus longitudinal) in nature, raising questions about the causality that was assumed by those interpreting the results of her analysis. Other researchers echoed these concerns[2][3], highlighting the need for more research and better definitions of spanking in order to make any conclusions about spanking and child outcomes.
[It is worth noting though that despite Dr. Gershoff’s shared caveats to the research, her personal views (based on the research) sided with those who are opposed to the practice. Her work continues to look at aspects of spanking and outcomes associated with the practice.]Most recently, another research review recently published by Joan Durrant and Ron Ensom in the Canadian Medical Association Journal for a call to ban spanking in Canada discusses myriad research on the outcomes of spanking[4]. While some of the concerns of the original Gershoff review hold with some of the research cited herein (e.g., problems to do with spanking versus other forms of physical punishment; causation), many included in this review do not (though unfortunately they aren’t separated out and no meta-analysis was conducted). And once again, overall the research overwhelmingly supports negative outcomes associated with spanking – including mental health problems in adulthood, drug and alcohol use, and aggression. But once again, this doesn’t seem to be enough. So let’s look at some of the larger-scale studies and what they can tell us.
Recent Research
In one of the most recent comprehensive studies on the topic, researchers in the US utilized data from the Fragile Families and Child Well-Being Study (FFCWS), a large scale study examining family outcomes for a birth cohort (N=4200) across 18 medium-to-large cities in the US to examine the effects of spanking and spanking frequency on child outcomes[5]. Data on parenting practices by both mothers and fathers was collected when the child was age 3 and externalizing behaviours and verbal ability were assessed at age 5. Spanking was assessed on a yes/no basis as well as assessing frequency which was divided based on two times per week or more versus two times per week or less. In the full sample, 55.2% of mothers spanked their child at age 3 (11.2% reported a frequency of greater than twice per week whereas 44% reported a frequency of less than twice per week) and 43.2% of fathers reported spanking at age 3 (8% reported a frequency of greater than twice per week whereas 35.2% reported a frequency of less than twice per week). Control variables included family size and structure, SES, parental education, parental work, parenting stress, parenting mental health and emotionality, substance use, parental warmth, child temperament, and earlier child behaviour.
Results for the risk of spanking at age 3 include an effect of race (African American families were more likely than Caucasian or Hispanic families to spank their children) and cumulative risk factor (based on the number of factors known to affect spanking at child age 1; includes, but not limited to, maternal mental health, stress, drug use, economic hardship, and paternal criminality) in which children with a higher cumulative risk factor were more likely to be spanked at age 3. Importantly, normative data also predicted the likelihood to spank with families who live in areas where spanking is more common also being more likely to spank. With respect to outcomes of spanking, when included on their own, spanking of any kind (maternal, paternal, frequent, or less frequent) was predictive of externalizing behaviours at age 5. However, when the kitchen sink was included in the model, only frequent maternal spanking was predictive of externalizing behaviour at age 5. The results were similar for child verbal ability, with frequent maternal spanking predicting lower verbal ability above and beyond all of the controls included in the analyses.
A few limitations of the research are notable. First, spanking still remained parent-defined. Some may have included harsher punishments along with what is traditionally thought to be spanking. This is a problem highlighted by Dr. Gershoff, but is difficult to implement in large-scale studies due to the nature of data collection. Second, many of the control variables included in the models were those that were predictive of spanking at age 3. This is slightly problematic because it becomes impossible to disentangle their effects on spanking and externalizing behaviours. For example, the relationship between maternal stress and externalizing behaviours may be through spanking in that a mother who is stressed is more likely to spank which leads to externalizing behaviours. However, the way regression works is to remove the variance between maternal stress and externalizing behaviours when looking at the effects of spanking, leaving the question of mediation unanswered. These are important questions as it affects which source to work on to improve child outcomes. Finally, maternal spanking at age 1 was not included in the model. While it may not change the results, I would be curious if it predicted some of the earlier externalizing behaviours that are predictive of externalizing behaviours at age 5. Given that there is research that spanking in infancy can have deleterious effects to stress regulation[6], it seems that early spanking may be a factor that requires more research in the years to come.
Luckily for us, even more recently other researchers utilized this same dataset to examine the question of the role of spanking at age 1 on child behavioural and cognitive outcomes[7]. Spanking at age 1 was predictive of both externalizing problems at age 3 and age 5, though the effects at age 5 were through continued spanking at age 3. This raises an important issue with the previous results which found that the inclusion of externalizing behaviour at age 3 in the model predicting externalizing behaviour at age 5 rendered other forms of spanking outside of frequent, maternal spanking non-significant may be further influenced by even earlier spanking. Critically, as spanking at age 1 predicts externalizing behaviours at age 3 which in turn predict externalizing behaviours at age 5, spanking remains the earliest causal factor and thus we may want to consider both frequent and less-frequent spanking as contributing to later externalizing behaviour as they were significant predictors when externalizing at age 3 was not included in the model.
To address the issue of spanking versus more harsh punishment on externalizing behaviours, Jennifer Lansford and colleagues examined frequency and type of spanking (with a hand or object; and always ensuring it was spanking and not other corporal punishment) and externalizing at ages 6, 7, and 8[8]. Externalizing was rated by both parents and teachers in order to provide more validity (as maternal-report only may be biased by the use of punishment). Spanking frequency was also assessed in the following intervals: never, less than once a month, about once a month, about once a week, and about once a day. Across the three age groups, the largest percentage of children were spanked less than once a month, followed by never, then once a month, once a week, and finally once a day. Being spanked with an object was far less frequent than with a hand and the majority of children (64-66%) were never spanked with an object.
Harsh spanking (defined as either the use of an object while spanking or spanking once a week or more frequently) was concurrently related to externalizing behaviours across all ages while controlling for child gender, SES, family stress, mothers’ marital status, mothers’ age, and the previous years’ child externalizing scores. The results were significant for maternal reports of externalizing behaviours and though the relationships were non-significant, they were in the same direction for the teacher reported externalizing behaviours (and seem to be due to no differences between mild and moderate spanking groups as the harsh spanking group has an externalizing score that is nearly double that of the mild spanking group at each age point). When the data was analyzed to examine the relationships across time, both teacher and maternal reports of externalizing behaviours were predicted by previous moderate and harsh spanking behaviour. Interestingly in the time-lagged analyses, mild spanking (infrequent and only with a hand) was only related to concurrent and prior externalizing behaviours, but not future externalizing behaviour. This provides some support for those who would argue that mild spanking does not carry long-term effects.
However, there’s an issue that was ignored in much of the previous research that has been addressed in the newer studies. Namely, how spanking affects the risk of harsher punishments. Lansford and colleagues found mild spanking one year was a risk factor for harsh spanking the following year; that is, compared to parents who did not spank at all, parents who used mild spanking were 50% more likely to engage in harsh spanking the following year[7]. Data from the FFCWS study looking at 1 year olds also found this[6]; specifically, spanking at age 1 was related to more frequent spanking at age 3 compared to children who were not spanked at all at age 1. A large-scale Canadian study found that children who had been spanked by their parents were seven times more likely to be assaulted (defined as punched or kicked) by their parents[9]. Another study found that infants (< 1 year) who had been spanked were nearly two and half times more likely to suffer abuse related injuries that would require medical attention[10]. Therefore, even though there is a small amount of research that has not found negative effects for mild spanking, it has been found that spanking, no matter how mild, raises the risk that a parent will engage in harsher corporal punishment in the future, a practice for which the negative child outcomes are not in doubt.
You did a fair job of pointing out one of the main objections to studies which find spanking ‘bad’, namely the definition of ‘spanking’, but missed another huge one, this assumption that ‘aggression’ is bad. 70 years ago Jonny got spanked, probably with a belt. When Jonny and Jimmy got in a disagreement they fought, fists flying until things got settled. If Jonny stole Jimmy’s ball he’d likely get a couple of hard hits until he gave it back. If Jimmy bullied Jonny, Jonny didn’t become a ‘victim’, he beat the tar out of Jimmy. This current notion that all our kids should be perpetual victims to any bully that targets them, that any arguement must be settled by the adults, and that adults must medated every game, playdate, and social interaction to make sure it’s ‘fair’ is very new, and frankly obsurd. I know you watched ‘Babies’ there is a great scene where two little African babies are playing together, one steals a toy from another and the babies, with teeth and fists, figure it out themselves, with an adult only stepping in after it’s over to sooth the still-crying chastised would-be ‘thief’.
This notion that all external desplays of emotion, that conflict resultion that uses more than words, and children working things out themselves is ‘bad’ is not universally held. Spanking is going to somehow make my child ‘more’ aggressive? Bull. Physical punishment being the historical and cultural norm, not spanking seems to make kids unusually passive. It’s up to those who want to change tried-and-true to prove that these new behaviors are superior to the old. Look at the youth today, youth crime, unchecked bullying, entitlement additude, disrepectful, rampant cheating in schools, misbehavior, etc. Now I don’t chalk all that to a lack of proper physical discipline, I wouldn’t even call it the top contributor, but it is part of it. Sure, the kids from say, the 1850’s, 1950’s, or 1770’s were more likely to get in a school yard or nieghborhood brawl, but they were a lot less likely to engage in nearly every other form of negative, destructive, or lawless behavior, and physical discipline was also a big part of that.
As for your image, do people intentionally misrepresent that because they are trying to be mocking, or have they just never taken 2 seconds to consider it. Children are not stupid. Spanking is a PUNISHMENT. Just like to an adult jail is a punishment. We don’t go around saying putting criminals in jail will cause them to think kidnapping is acceptable. Kids understand spankings just fine. There is a punishment, a result. It’s not ‘hitting is ok because mommy spanks me’ it’s ‘hitting my baby sister is so *not* okay that mommy is going to spank me if I do’. It shows consquences, real consequences. If thomas was to hit Zandra, Zandra is too young to hit back, so you better believe (as he does) that I’ll exact the real-world punishment for that action from him. On the other hand if he was to say, hit his 5 year old friend, his 5 year old friend will do the exacting and whap him back, thus he learns ‘do not hit unless I want a fight on my hands’ and ‘if I hit someone who can’t protect themselves someone else will protect them’. Same thing he needs to know as an adult. If someone more or less my size hit me, I’d hit back. But if someone significantly bigger (or stronger) hit me than they’d have to deal with the police, actually the police would be the least of their worries as I’ve got a dozen or so large, combat trained, mostly former military friends and family who would show them the error of their ways long before the police got to them.
You know, it’s interesting, as adults we are not allowed to settle matters with violence. I could be arrested for beating up someone that stole my TV, which is the adult version of your “school yard justice” analogy. We shouldn’t be teaching our children that problems are solved with violence. If that makes us “passive”, so be it, but I tend to feel that it makes us more civilized.
On a similar, but separate, tangent, would you rather your children do good things because they are afraid you will hit them, or would you rather they do good things because they are the right things to do? Speaking from experience, I was only a good child while my mother was in range. Behind her back was a different story. I decided that I wanted them to think about their actions outside of my reactions.
Huh, I wonder were you live, because from America to New Zealand if someone breaks in and steals your t.v. you are well within your rights to beat them with bat, frying pan, or hands. The concept being able to take violent action to protect you and yours is a firmly established ‘right’ in a CIVILIZED culture, it is usually on in uncivilized dictatorships or feudal systems where that right is missing. Someone breaks into my house, putting my home and family in danger they should fear more than a punch or two. Likewise, if you are walking down a street and someone tries to snatch your purse you are likewise fully justified to use force to protect yourself and your property. So you’re first point there is moot. There are *many* problems which are justly solved, and in fact rarely if ever solved without violence. It’s like saying “war never solved anything, except tyranny, slavery, genocide, communism, opression, etc” even in ‘civilized’ society violence, or rather physical action, if a needed part of that civility.
As for your second point, of course I want my kids to do what’s right because it’s right. I want members of society to do what’s right because it’s right, but that’s not an arguement against law enforcement. My kids are little, it will be years before they actually understand the concept of right and wrong. It used to be called ‘the age of accountability’, although most today don’t recognize the concept anymore. Regardless of what you call it, however, young kids do not comprehend good verse evil, or right verses wrong. Children must learn these things. A child does not automatically understand stealing is wrong for instance, just that ‘I’ want it and ‘not I’ has it. These concepts will evole and empathy and in time understanding will lead to the conclusion that stealing is wrong, and when it does they will be old enough to be expected to do good for goodness’ sake. In the meantime, I still want them to learn to do good and to overcome their natural inclination for ‘I’ first (which tends to cause not-good actions) and actually *do* good. Someday my daughter will know that throwing a rock in the house is a bad and dangerous idea and she will have the wherewithall to reason through *why* she shouldn’t and therefore she won’t. Meanwhile, I’m not going to wait around letting her throw rocks in the house, and I need a consquence sufficient to overrule her ‘want’ to throw the rock. Most of the time ‘don’t throw rocks or you’ll lose the rock’ is sufficient consquence for her to reconsider her action, she wants the rock more than she wants to throw the rock. But not always. So I have another consquence to help her remember what she should and should not do ‘throw the rock and get a spanking’. And *that* (so far) she always wants to avoid more than she wants to throw that rock. Simple ‘if, then’ understanding happens *way* earlier developmentally that ‘good vverses evil’. As for behind my back, well, again, they’re little, ‘behind my back’ is rather a ways away. By the time they are capable of getting away with behavior ‘behind my back’ they will know what good is, and will know that they should do it regardless. And not only what good and ill are but that far greater consquences exist than ‘mommy will spank me’. And they’ll KNOW those consquences are real and *will* happen because I have consistantly taught them, through word and deed, that the promised consquences *do* happen. My peers and I certainly had no illusions of consquence-less actions even if we were ‘behind our parents’ backs’. My brother and I, and our peers, were all very well behaved older children and teens. Which is not to say we were perfect, but that we were generally very wellbehaved. As mentioned in the ‘page 2’ of this post/my comment on it, my peers I am speaking of and I were all conservative Biblical Christians, we knew no action was in secret. If our parents weren’t watching, God still was, and it was up to us to behave appropriately even when our parents weren’t there. The rules don’t go on hiatus just because Mom and Dad aren’t hovering.
The examples you give where it is legal to hit someone else are examples of SELF DEFENSE. You have the right to defend yourself if someone is trying to harm you or someone you love. You do NOT have the right to hit someone if you are just ANGRY at them because let’s say they “cut you off” or “cut you in line”. Nor do you have the right to hit someone if they disobey any rules in your community.
Spanking children is NEVER done as self defense. It is always either done out of anger or to “teach a lesson” which would be illegal if it was anyone but a child.
“Or someone you love”. You said it yourself, you just don’t like where the logic leads you. They aren’t any other random person, they are children. It’s like saying ‘well if you put someone in your basement because they broke the law that’s kidnapping and you can’t do that, therefore we can’t put lawbreakers into jail.’ I am not my child’s peer, and they are not mine. I am ‘mom’, a rank of authority in many ways much more complete than that of citizen to police officer. If my 3 year old hits my 14 month old, it’s my job as ‘mom’ to defend the 14 month old, who is incapable of self defense, I am morally and ethically justified to use both physical force in defense of my young one, and in an authoritive position to ethically and legally enforce the house rules. The relationship of parent to child is not that of equal peers, it is that of an authority and a beloved ‘subject’. To say otherwise is to utterly ignore the fundamentals building blocks of every society and the truth of human development. Saying we can’t dole out punishment because ‘it doesn’t work that way’ with other adults is no different than saying a police officer can’t arrest a criminal because a random citizen can’t. Which is in an of itself a falacy because you needed be a police officer to arrest someone, any citizen can use justified force to arrest and detail a criminal on a citizen’s arrest *and* ‘self defense’ needn’t be just for one’s self or a loved one. If I turn a corner and see someone taking a bat to a stranger I am fully within my rights and civic duty to come to that citizen’s aid-stranger they may be- and use physical force against the attacker, including deathly force in most states. I don’t spank my kids because the ‘cut in line’ or ‘ticked me off’, that’s not a proper use of physical punishment, but in nearly all circumstances where a spanking would be appropriate against a child, physical force would also be appropriate against an adult, even a ‘random’ one. It seems like you have a hard time differentiating ethical and lawful defense and punishment from abuse.
Most anywhere, bud, violence is never the answer. Just take a look around you. The whole world screams that basically. Since violence isn’t the answer, words wouldn’t be either because that only stir things up more. The biggest thing to do would be to just walk away if you can, or say kind words to throw them off guard. Let me just go ahead and say this before you judge me, “Jespren”, just because I said use kind words does not mean that I happen to be a Christian. It just means that I have been in a fight myself, this has worked for me. Don’t judge before you try, and open your eyes a bit. You might be amazed at what you would see.
Just wanted to say I liked your comment. Especially the last paragraph – couldn’t agree more. Comparing spanking (punishment) to merely hitting is nonsensical.
You will love the Spanking chapter in the Sage Parenting book Tracy. 🙂
[…] Let’s Talk Spanking from Evolutionary Parenting […]
Interesting..my parents did spank me on occasion and I remember it made me fear them or resent them and never actually curbed the bad behavior besides the episode that lead to the spanking. When they actually sat down with me and explained that my actions hurt or disappointed them it made me feel hurt as well and that was enough to actually change my entire behavior. I did NOT like disappointing my parents. When I speak to others about their parents’ punishments I get very similar responses. Punishments didn’t work for them but empathy did (Or you could call it a guilt trip). It will definitely shape the way I discipline.
People so often ignore the value in talking to your child. I don’t know if we underestimate what they understand, or if we’re too impatient and focus only on the here and now, but empathy is so so key in helping children develop socially and emotionally! I’m glad you are able to see what worked and what didn’t in order to shape your own behaviour 🙂
I had a facebook conversation with some moms regarding this topic recently. I believe there IS a line between using spanking as a (serious) teaching tool, and using it to let off steam and get your point across in your anger, or a line between giving corporal punishment to prevent undesired behavior from resurfacing, and abuse. I believe I was on the anger side of spanking, and I was often spanked or “whooped” with an object all the way till I graduated from high school. There was little talking, my mom was impatient, and she felt that settled things better. It did not do good things for our relationship because it was used to control my behavior.
With that, I do thoughtfully spank my children when I feel it’s necessary. As parents I believe it’s personal how we choose to discipline our children, and for some children they respond well to spanking (this being with an open hand on the butt or hand, and never in excessive force or overdoing the number of strikes, staying appropriate with the age and offense). I don’t believe kids should be hit with objects or fists, or punched or pushed. I think that’s just common sense. But with as hard a job as we have, I think it’s similar to telling parents they HAVE TO breastfeed vs formula feed. Despite all the amazing research and benefits to breastfeeding, we still manage to have prejudice towards moms who choose to ff for whatever personal reason they do. People and parents are still able to have their own choices and justify those. Even though I felt my whoopings were ill-timed, done to release steam, and uneffective except to control my behavior, I still choose to use thoughtful spanking with my kids because of personal contemplation and choice. I also use alternative discipline methods (losing privileges, time-outs) and I talk to my kids a LOT. We always discuss the discipline and stress the desired behavior we’d like to see next time, and also that we do NOT enjoy using those disciplinary methods.
It’s VERY easy to use the stress and emotions involved in disciplining to go overboard with spanking, and we wouldn’t be human or realistic if we didn’t admit that. But I still believe that accountability lies with the parent. IF I know I did something wrong during discipline, I will apologize and level with myself that that is unacceptable and really work to manage that. I would rather use some corporal punishment at home than risk my kids having any run-ins in the future where they are shocked with the amount and force and treatment used to reprimand them if they came into an altercation with the law. I do not promote violence in my home, and I respect my children.
Understanding both sides of the research,it’s up to parent to make an informed decision based on their family values, faith/religious beliefs (which sometimes plays a BIG part in this decision), and be honest about the parent’s temperament and ability to handle using that punishment/discipline. IF any abusive behavior occurs, the parent should be held responsible. Which will hopefully remind them of the purpose of using it at all (not to physically/mentally gain satisfaction from causing their child pain or to hurt the child, but teach/protect/reprimand). Are there always different ways to do things? Absolutely. But again I believe it’s a personal choice. Thank you for sharing this post. We can all learn from each other about healthier ways to parent or read different perspectives of those who disagree and feel it works positively in their home environment.
I didn’t take the time to read all the comments, but…I am the fifth of ten children, and my parents spanked. If there is such a thing as a good way to do it, they did. I never believed my parents to be angry with me, never felt scorned, ignored, punished, or disrespected. I didn’t ever try to please them in order to avoid “the paddle.” And yet, 7 of my siblings did feel belittled, ignored, punished, even abused. I did not learn this until we were all well out of the home. I believe that of the 6 of us with children that only one spanks. I turned against spanking before having children when Florida, my home, passed a law declaring spanking with anything other than your hand to be abuse, and I could not ever abide the thought of putting my hand to a child.
Since becoming a parent 3 years ago and pursuing grace and connection parenting (the grace is for me, the connection for all of us- I hate the term non-violent, since it leaves all sorts of negative options on the table) I have become an evangelist for punishment free behavior. My parents raised me by a Puritan motto “Good behavior is its own reward,” something that I still believe. I have discovered the inverse also to be true, and equally important “Bad behavior is its own punishment”( A Caleb original). I am constantly complimented on my daughter’s “good” behavior. I dislike this greatly. My daughter does not have “good” behavior. She is not even three and has learned that respect, patience, and communication are the shortest routes to her desires and interests. I am convinced that when a generation is raised from the earliest age with responsibility for the natural consequences of their own behavior nearly all social problems will become obsolete.
I have seen spanking used more out a parent’s anger and frustration at the inability to control their child. Hitting someone in anger is abuse.
To say that if you don’t spank a child makes you a wimp or pacifist is BS in my book. I am not a passive or wimpy person. I play hockey, and think a little rough physical contact in the right setting is ok. But I never play angry. I will push someone around if they push me around, and then we drink beers together later. It is never to hurt someone intentionally.
I WILL defend myself and my family in any circumstance needed. But I will not strike my child to make her do anything. I was spanked as a child. It did not make me a better person. It was often in anger. It only taught me to fear the person spanking me. This is not the way I want to raise my child.
When I had my daughter my father sat me down for a heart to heart about spanking. He asked me to remember an instance from him and from my mother which I was spanked. I was spanked (in the head) by my father for saying whatever to him and by my mother (also in the head) for telling her to shut up. His next thing he wanted me to remember was times when I was physically violent against other people what had they said to me. I answered well one said whatever and rolled her eyes at me and one told me to shut up…. Alright I see where this is going and that was the moment I decided not to spank my child.
[…] of parenting I tout. (Although I am against harming children in any way, which means I don’t spank or circumcise, but let’s leave those topics for another time, shall we?) I have been a […]